Since we're now a decade into a new millennium, I have taken it upon myself for the welfare of Ogres, Men, Werewolves and all other inhabitants of this miserable little planet to revise the age old sayings of the past into more suitable versions for our times. And here we go (any additions are eagerly accepted and awaited):
1. Early to bed and early to rise makes man an early man
2. Too err is human, to forgive not so, so why bother
3. A stitch in time is for sissies
4. If at first you don't succeed, try again and if you still don't succeed, google for instructions
5. A penny saved is for bus fare
6. A fool and his money are excellent friends
7. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a trip to the servicing center
8. Cheats sometimes prosper
9. He who laughs last gets the joke the slowest
10. When the going gets tough ask for help
Saturday, December 19, 2009
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
"Women"
Women-the greatest mystery in the whole world. I had always been convinced that men and women function differently, though some people satt-ly errr sadly disagree. And a certain incident that happened today triggered a chain reaction of thoughts in this whacked-up brain of mine, but before I go into that let me first tell you all what happened.
It was around noon and I was jobless and so bored to the extent that I actually started watching the Australia-West Indies test match, commentaries included when I got a call from my sister to get ready as she wanted me to take her, or rather she wanted to take me shopping. Having nothing better to do and being promised a treat at the shopping center, I agreed and got ready. She told me she'd be there in 15 minutes. 35 minutes later she appeared and then we set off and finally reached the Aizawl woman's paradise - The Second Hand Lane. After stopping for a cup of tea and some food, she started, Oh boy did she start!!! Three hours and several plastic bags in my hand later, she said we could go, BUT not before she bought me a jacket as a reward for which we took another 30 minutes. Finally after close to four hours walking around, we reached the car and 30 minutes later home...at last.
Then it hit me, this was the same sister who in May this year had struggled to take a 15 minute walk to the grocers with me coz I was feeling too lazy to drive!!! HOLY COW!!!
I then realized that WITH the proper motivation, women would be able to do ANYTHING. No more hunger, no more wars, no more AIDS, no more economic problems, a colony on the moon, you name it...a whole new wonderful world free of all problems thanks to a special group of women assembled to make our world a better place, a motivated group for whom nothing is impossible, and the cost of all this - a free four hour shopping spree at any second hand lane in the world!!!
It was around noon and I was jobless and so bored to the extent that I actually started watching the Australia-West Indies test match, commentaries included when I got a call from my sister to get ready as she wanted me to take her, or rather she wanted to take me shopping. Having nothing better to do and being promised a treat at the shopping center, I agreed and got ready. She told me she'd be there in 15 minutes. 35 minutes later she appeared and then we set off and finally reached the Aizawl woman's paradise - The Second Hand Lane. After stopping for a cup of tea and some food, she started, Oh boy did she start!!! Three hours and several plastic bags in my hand later, she said we could go, BUT not before she bought me a jacket as a reward for which we took another 30 minutes. Finally after close to four hours walking around, we reached the car and 30 minutes later home...at last.
Then it hit me, this was the same sister who in May this year had struggled to take a 15 minute walk to the grocers with me coz I was feeling too lazy to drive!!! HOLY COW!!!
I then realized that WITH the proper motivation, women would be able to do ANYTHING. No more hunger, no more wars, no more AIDS, no more economic problems, a colony on the moon, you name it...a whole new wonderful world free of all problems thanks to a special group of women assembled to make our world a better place, a motivated group for whom nothing is impossible, and the cost of all this - a free four hour shopping spree at any second hand lane in the world!!!
Thursday, December 3, 2009
An Alternate Universe
Having recently watched an alternate universe of FRIENDS for the umpteenth time, these are some of the conclusions I have made, IF I were in an alternate universe:
1. I would have been Jim Carrey
2. Satty would have been Rosie O' Donnell
3. Mythili would have been caretaker of an orphanage who worked part-time as a cab driver (with a husband who worked part-time at poker tables in Las Vegas)
4. Beni would have been Madonna
5. Babie would have been a professional wrestler
6. Bishock would have been President of the U.S.A
7. Ajith would have been a gay porn star, oh wait I think he is one in this world too
8. Maha would have been my dream girl
9. Kvulo would have been Hugh Hefner
10. Ruki would have been in the army
11. Joseph (my nephew) would have been a rock star
12. Bikram would have been a hired assasin (who loves playing crosswords in his free time)
13. Ferdy would have been Don Williams
14. Jimmy would have been a police dog
15. Ruth would have been captain of the Indian Women Football team
16. Seni would have been an R&B singer
17. Among would have been Vijay Mallya
18. Pu Lailunga would have been Napoleon
19. Oren would have been V.C of EFLU
20. Temsu would have been Osama Bin Laden
21. Apuii would have been Britney Spears
22. Alyssa would have been Hilary Clinton
23. Sammy would have been Michael Jackson
24. Rahul would have been Godzilla (with hair)
25. Geets would have been my Mom
26. Eli would have been Paris Hilton
27. Sagar would have been Bill Gates
28. Hewasa would have been Dakota Fanning
29. Nchum would have been Nick Carter
30. Wati would have been Jack Johnson's publicist
...and that's about it! Other takes are welcome!!!
1. I would have been Jim Carrey
2. Satty would have been Rosie O' Donnell
3. Mythili would have been caretaker of an orphanage who worked part-time as a cab driver (with a husband who worked part-time at poker tables in Las Vegas)
4. Beni would have been Madonna
5. Babie would have been a professional wrestler
6. Bishock would have been President of the U.S.A
7. Ajith would have been a gay porn star, oh wait I think he is one in this world too
8. Maha would have been my dream girl
9. Kvulo would have been Hugh Hefner
10. Ruki would have been in the army
11. Joseph (my nephew) would have been a rock star
12. Bikram would have been a hired assasin (who loves playing crosswords in his free time)
13. Ferdy would have been Don Williams
14. Jimmy would have been a police dog
15. Ruth would have been captain of the Indian Women Football team
16. Seni would have been an R&B singer
17. Among would have been Vijay Mallya
18. Pu Lailunga would have been Napoleon
19. Oren would have been V.C of EFLU
20. Temsu would have been Osama Bin Laden
21. Apuii would have been Britney Spears
22. Alyssa would have been Hilary Clinton
23. Sammy would have been Michael Jackson
24. Rahul would have been Godzilla (with hair)
25. Geets would have been my Mom
26. Eli would have been Paris Hilton
27. Sagar would have been Bill Gates
28. Hewasa would have been Dakota Fanning
29. Nchum would have been Nick Carter
30. Wati would have been Jack Johnson's publicist
...and that's about it! Other takes are welcome!!!
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