Revised Sayings

Since we're now a decade into a new millennium, I have taken it upon myself for the welfare of Ogres, Men, Werewolves and all other inhabitants of this miserable little planet to revise the age old sayings of the past into more suitable versions for our times. And here we go (any additions are eagerly accepted and awaited):

1. Early to bed and early to rise makes man an early man

2. Too err is human, to forgive not so, so why bother

3. A stitch in time is for sissies

4. If at first you don't succeed, try again and if you still don't succeed, google for instructions

5. A penny saved is for bus fare

6. A fool and his money are excellent friends

7. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a trip to the servicing center

8. Cheats sometimes prosper

9. He who laughs last gets the joke the slowest

10. When the going gets tough ask for help

"Women"

Women-the greatest mystery in the whole world. I had always been convinced that men and women function differently, though some people satt-ly errr sadly disagree. And a certain incident that happened today triggered a chain reaction of thoughts in this whacked-up brain of mine, but before I go into that let me first tell you all what happened.

It was around noon and I was jobless and so bored to the extent that I actually started watching the Australia-West Indies test match, commentaries included when I got a call from my sister to get ready as she wanted me to take her, or rather she wanted to take me shopping. Having nothing better to do and being promised a treat at the shopping center, I agreed and got ready. She told me she'd be there in 15 minutes. 35 minutes later she appeared and then we set off and finally reached the Aizawl woman's paradise - The Second Hand Lane. After stopping for a cup of tea and some food, she started, Oh boy did she start!!! Three hours and several plastic bags in my hand later, she said we could go, BUT not before she bought me a jacket as a reward for which we took another 30 minutes. Finally after close to four hours walking around, we reached the car and 30 minutes later home...at last.

Then it hit me, this was the same sister who in May this year had struggled to take a 15 minute walk to the grocers with me coz I was feeling too lazy to drive!!! HOLY COW!!!

I then realized that WITH the proper motivation, women would be able to do ANYTHING. No more hunger, no more wars, no more AIDS, no more economic problems, a colony on the moon, you name it...a whole new wonderful world free of all problems thanks to a special group of women assembled to make our world a better place, a motivated group for whom nothing is impossible, and the cost of all this - a free four hour shopping spree at any second hand lane in the world!!!

An Alternate Universe

Having recently watched an alternate universe of FRIENDS for the umpteenth time, these are some of the conclusions I have made, IF I were in an alternate universe:

1. I would have been Jim Carrey

2. Satty would have been Rosie O' Donnell

3. Mythili would have been caretaker of an orphanage who worked part-time as a cab driver (with a husband who worked part-time at poker tables in Las Vegas)

4. Beni would have been Madonna

5. Babie would have been a professional wrestler

6. Bishock would have been President of the U.S.A

7. Ajith would have been a gay porn star, oh wait I think he is one in this world too

8. Maha would have been my dream girl

9. Kvulo would have been Hugh Hefner

10. Ruki would have been in the army

11. Joseph (my nephew) would have been a rock star

12. Bikram would have been a hired assasin (who loves playing crosswords in his free time)

13. Ferdy would have been Don Williams

14. Jimmy would have been a police dog

15. Ruth would have been captain of the Indian Women Football team

16. Seni would have been an R&B singer

17. Among would have been Vijay Mallya

18. Pu Lailunga would have been Napoleon

19. Oren would have been V.C of EFLU

20. Temsu would have been Osama Bin Laden

21. Apuii would have been Britney Spears

22. Alyssa would have been Hilary Clinton

23. Sammy would have been Michael Jackson

24. Rahul would have been Godzilla (with hair)

25. Geets would have been my Mom

26. Eli would have been Paris Hilton

27. Sagar would have been Bill Gates

28. Hewasa would have been Dakota Fanning

29. Nchum would have been Nick Carter

30. Wati would have been Jack Johnson's publicist
...and that's about it! Other takes are welcome!!!

My Journey to True Love II - Castle Fairydust to Care Island

Having left Lady Francine, I cautiously proceeded along Airy Path, the only way to Castle Fairydust. One has to be careful here, you can see the world of reality clearly from here and if you don't proceed with care it is here that the little imps of worry and concern will make sure you never make it to the castle. That night though my spirits were high and the peace in my heart helped me to cross Airy Path without any difficulty.

I had walked around a quarter of an hour when before me, I could see a beautiful shining castle - Castle Fairydust at last. No sooner than it came into my view I started hearing a voice - it was so calm, so soothing it had to be Lady Francine, but it wasn't! It was singing a sad sad song in a language I had never heard in my life and for no apparent reason I started weeping my soul out. Just then I heard footsteps and before me stood a being, it had the shape and body of a man but i saw that his head was shaped like a star. His whole body too glowed like one.

"And pray tell why are you weeping,young sir, yes!" said he.

"I don't know sir, this song in the air just makes me cry, can't you hear it?"

"And what do I hear save for your incessant weeping, young sir, yes?"

"That voice...that song, you don't hear it?"

"And so it seems, hmmmm, voices eh? And would you be the one sent by Lady Francine yes?"

"That I am, sir", I replied.

"And so it would be, yes, strange lot you who are called by Her. And very well follow me then, She has left some things for you in the Castle Vault, yes She has. And if you will follow me yes?"

I followed this strange being to the castle and he took me down to the vaults where he opened a strange locker, in fact the locker opened itself when we arrived there.

"And yes, you would be the one yes, were it not for you it never would have opened itself, yes? Here you go, yes? And if you would follow me please, someone would have a word with you, yes she would, yes!" he said as he handed me a dusty old bag.

We then proceeded upstairs and I could see all manners of fairies, elves and pixies enjoying themselves in the ball-room. The elves in particular were a treat for the eyes- slender, graceful with lovely features and they were singing for the others who were happily dancing time away. I couldn't help but smile and feel a strange sense of peace when I saw this. However, my host led me past this merriment and into the Throne Room and there it was that I saw one of the most beautiful elves on the throne. She smiled when she saw me and said thus:

"Ah! Child of Sorrow, enter please. Thank you Starch for bringing him here. I trust you have given him the bag, you have? Excellent. Now then my child allow me to introduce myself, I am Lady Fwendyer, Queen of Fairydust and might I say that it is an absolute pleasure for me to see with my own eyes The Child of Destiny sent by Lady Francine herself, an absolute pleasure, come and sit before me, I see questions in your eyes and I shall tell you whatever I can."

"Thank you, Lady Fwendyer..."

"No child, thank YOU!" she replied "now go on, ask away?"

"Can you tell me why I'm here and what I need to do?"

"The first question you will find out for yourself dear boy and as for the second question I will tell you later. Are there any more questions?"

"Yes, can you tell me whats in the bag?"

"That I can", she smiled "Inside that magic bag are three things, a robe, a sword and a picture frame. But do not take them out now, you will know when to take them out, but just to give you an idea let me tell you. The robe is to be used when the very air around you dampens your spirit, the sword is to be used when and only when violence is the only answer and the picture frame to be used when you need to know what it is that is most important to you. But you can use each item only once before the magic that binds them will be unbound and vanish forever so use it only when you absolutely must and not before. Now I will tell you what you must do, just outside the castle you will find a trail that leads down to the shore. You must go there immediately and search for a Captain Fairwave. He will take you to the next part of your journey. I know you still have questions aplenty, child, but they are really not mine to answer and you will be have all the answers when you need them and not before. Now hurry child, and if all goes well, I hope to see you here again soon. I shall eagerly await your return and I shall hold a great banquet to celebrate your success. But for now, farewell, O Child of Sorrow."

With a bow, I left the company of the Fair Lady of Castle Fairydust and followed her directions. There at the shore I met the captain, Captain Fairwave.

"Ho! Welcome lad, welcome, a pleasure to meet you. Allow me to shake your hand. It would be a pleasure to welcome you to my fair ship, The Flying Fin, come now come."

I boarded the ship and the catain took me to my cabin and left me there while he gave orders to the crew to set sail immediately. After a while he reappeared.

"Alas lad, we are off now to Care Island. I have been instructed to take you there, heaven knows why, its a lonely isolated little island and a funny one if there ever was one. All I can tell you lad is that once you are there you are to look for the Cavern of Weeping and enter there. There would be someone waiting for you there, and now I'll leave you to rest and preserve your strength, you shall need it. I shall notify you when we are there."

And so was I left alone undisturbed for hours. I tried to sleep but I couldn't, everytime I closed my eyes I could hear the song I heard near Castle Fairydust and I was left to sit alone and ponder over what lay ahead for me. I hadn't asked for any of this and almost felt so frustrated to the point of being brought back to reality, but then the thought of Lady Francine saved me. I knew that she wouldn't send me on this quest for nothing and so my belief in Her revived my hopes and I was filled with a new determination to see this through.

After many hours of sailing, Captain Fairwave finally reappeared and smiled.

"We're here lad, on must you go alone now. But before that, there is someone on board who wishes to see you. I will bring her in."

The captain then brought in a fair elven maiden who bowed the moment she saw me.

"Quel re, Heruamin, cormamin lindua ele lee (Good day, my lord, my heart sings to see thee) I am Andresia and I know it is more than I could ever wish for to be able to help you let alone see you. I come bearing a gift. Please take this shell with you. It is filled with the song of the elves and is able to work its magic to all who listen to it. You will know when you need it. I must go now, my Lord. It has been an honor to see you in person. Aa’ lasser en lle coia orn n' omenta gurtha (May the leaves of your life tree never turn brown) "

With that she left me and I too left the ship and waved farewell to the captain and his crew and Andresia too.

I was now alone on the island and could feel an eerie presence all around. But now my job was to find the Cavern of Weeping and that is where my tale will continue...

A Little Love

“So tell that some one that you love,
Just what you’re thinking of,
If tomorrow never comes.”

Words I believe will probably be etched in my memory for an eternity. A little love shown? Why was I so stupid to take things for granted? A little love and care showing itself in words or deeds…sounds none too difficult for anyone. And then the words “I love you,” “You mean a lot to me”. Words which take only a few seconds to say yet which might bring into bloom the flower of love that will last for a lifetime. A lifetime? But what if that lifetime was cut off before the beautiful blooming blossom of love reached its full splendor?

That’s a question that demanded an answer from me on the 7th of October, 2003, when out of nowhere, with no warning whatsoever my brother passed away. Immediately I asked myself, “What had I done to show him my love, care and concern?” Little or none was the sad but true answer as I have always been one afraid to show my true feelings to anyone. Then I realized that I would have to bear the pain of going through this life knowing that I would never be able to show my brother how much I loved him, how much he really meant to me. It hurts….a lot. But it taught me a really valuable lesson-not to take life and love for granted and now as I go through life, I try my best to show my dear ones my love and care for them. The smile I get from them helps to relief my pain gradually, and now I am more peaceful knowing that my loved ones know my love for them. But that hole left by my brother’s demise, I am afraid will always be there.

So as you go through life, don’t just rush through. Take time to show your beloved ones your love and care. It might even just help lift their storms and heartaches. It will cost you little, but will give you much. That I promise you. So don’t delay, say it now.

Never leave your “I love you’s” for tomorrow
Tomorrow is not a certainty.
You might end up with regret and sorrow.
Say it today, and so forth forever in eternity.

A Moonlit Night

It was the quite end of evening. The moon was now lording over the Earth and she did so with a quite calm and authority as she spread her beams over the grassy fields, the gravel paths, the silent trees and everything else in sight. All of Staunton was now under her watchful eye. This night as with any other, there were creatures of the night singing their songs away into the vast black sky. Once in a while the breeze joined in on their song as she made her passage through the leaves of trees.

It was on such a night as this that Gerald sat on the railing of the old bridge just outside town. He alternated between staring at the moon and its majestic reflection in the clear waters of the river below. It filled him with a strange sense of peace which however was soon lost again in the uncertainty that was hanging around his neck. He was not always like this. He was once a bright cheerful lad who was well known in town for his agreeable manners and his handsome countenance. His parents were also well known. His father, Mr. Roenall was one of the most respected elders of the town council and his mother was a well known florist. Many a girl had gone up to Gerald in hope of winning his heart, but he was like the fresh smell of summer flowers-always in your senses but never what you could call exclusively your own. He was by no means a flirtatious lad, it was just that he thought himself unable to fully give himself to one girl; hence he stayed away from them all. A well intentioned, if not a little odd thing to be doing!

Now the mayor of the town, knowing what good in-laws the Roenall family would make, approached Mr. Roenall to arrange for a wedding between Gerald and his daughter, Rachel. Mr. Roenall was delighted at this prospect and agreed to the wedding almost immediately. Now Gerald himself wasn’t too sure whether he wanted to marry at all and for a few days he was very silent. However in the end he decided that it would make his parents very happy and so he agreed to the wedding. Rachel too was very happy. She was also well known in town for her good manners and of course she was one of the prettiest, if not the prettiest woman around town. Soon all preparations were made and they were to wed in three months. Everyone was happy, except maybe a few heartbroken girls who had hoped for Gerald.

One fine day, Gerald was on his way to the neighboring town of Imnesvale. He had just landed a contract with a publishing firm in Imnesvale to get his collection of poems published and he was on his way there to meet the head publisher. It was during this journey that he saw a girl lying unconscious by the road. She was bleeding profusely and it was clear that she had been attacked by wild dogs- an ever present problem those days. Gerald picked the girl up and mounted her on his horse and he rushed her to the doctor’s clinic in Imnesvale. There he told the doctor all about the incident and also agreed to pay for the girl’s medical care. The doctor told her he knew who the girl was and also gave his word that he would do his best to help her. Gerald then left the clinic with a promise that he would return the following week and check on the girl.

Gerald had to visit Imnesvale regularly from then on with matters concerning his book, so the next week, after his work was done, he went to visit the girl, being directed to her house by the doctor. When he arrived there, he saw that she was busy cleaning up her living-room. The moment he introduced himself she embraced him and thanked him for his help with tears of joy. Gerald just smiled and told her that he was only too glad to help out. She told him that her name was Tiffany. Both her parents had died when she was fifteen and she had been working in the local bookshop since then. She also told him that she had gone out that day to pick wild flowers before she was attacked by the wild dogs. She was beautiful, with rosy cheeks and long golden curls and a beautiful heart-warming smile. There was no evidence of any injury to her face and Gerald was glad. After having tea, Gerald took his leave and headed home.

The friendship between Gerald and Tiffany grew and soon their meetings became regular. One fateful day, Tiffany, unaware of Gerald’s engagement to Rachel declared her love for him and asked him to take her away. Gerald was taken aback. He had not realized until then that he too had already fallen in love with Tiffany. He felt their souls had already become one. He felt confused. He could not break off his engagement with Rachel. He could not bear to think of the shame he would bring to his father. Their wedding was only three weeks away. But then he couldn’t bear the thought of losing Tiffany either. Finally he asked Tiffany to give him some time to think about their situation. Tiffany told him that he could take all the time in the world as she would always be rightfully his. She also told him that she was willing to do whatever it took to be with him. With that Gerald left for home.

That was eight hours ago. Gerald should have been home by now, but as it turned out, he was still sitting on the bridge as we met him in the beginning. He sighed and said, “So it has come to this. Anyway it is clear to me what I must do now. I cannot marry Rachel for I can love no one but Tiffany. Tiffany, I am afraid there is only one way for us to be together. When you receive that letter of mine, please do as I tell you. There is no other way. I shall be waiting here my love. Till I see you again, know that I will always love you.”

Having said so, he lifted the millstone tied to his neck, sighed and jumped into the river to await his true love.

“Torn is the man whose heart,
Between two loves does lie.
Wretched is He who must die,
His very soul torn apart.

Alas sad mortal, farewell to thee,
Only in death can you be free.”