Solitude...

A boy often sat in his room staring at out the window, smiling and enjoying the world around him,a world that he loved to watch from distance but for reasons his own refused to be a part of. His father noticed this behavior and after a while said to him, "Son,one day you're going to grow up to be a man and sooner or later you're going to have to be a part of the world you're now staring at,you won't make it on your own,son,you'll need good friends and now is as good a time as any to start practicing."

Years passed and the son always kept in mind what his dad had lovingly told him and many times he tried to obey. But the truth was that very often though he was physically present with others mentally he was far away-at times sitting under a tree in a grove and at times climbing that tree to gaze upon the world around him-but every time it was the same wherever he was,he was always alone.That was his the source of his identity,being able to isolate himself from a world he was not familiar with.

However,the impact of the father's speech would not quieten in his heart and many years after he had first heard it,he decided to go all out and from then on he tried (Oh how he tried) his best to be a sociable person,always looking for the chance to make new friends and to make them involved in his life. He had to involve them willfully lest he went back to his old self. After a while,he believed he had succeeded and was pleased with himself. One thing he noted however was that he had to do this willfully, it never became second nature,he had to tell himself he MUST do this and with an iron will he kept at it.

It was soon to change. He met her. Here at last was someone who he had to make no effort to keep in touch. Contacting her was never an act of will,it was as natural and necessary to him as breathing. All the years of trying so hard had finally paid off,he told himself,for were it not for that willful effort he never would have met her and he was so very glad that he did. It was perfect,,,almost.

Though initially the friendship bloomed,soon time in her company grew fewer and conversations dried up-from her side. It was then he realized it was no longer a conversation,it was a monologue with him the solitary voice. It hit him hard and he was left with two choices-to move on or to go back. Moving on seemed so much more logical because if he met one person who made him feel that way,there would be more. One minor bump in an otherwise smooth highway was all it seemed.

Logic,however,never was his strength. He was a man led by heart not by logic and rational thinking and hence he decided that he would go back to his room,his window and stare again...and the next time someone else told him what the father had said years ago,he has learnt to be with someone and not listen,he would again climb up his tree and find solitude...

And that is the story of the boy who refused to be a part of the world,then relented,then was refused entry into the world he wanted a part of and went back.