Just simple thoughts really...

My Joy, Pride and Hope

2012-01-24T11:19:00.000-08:00

My first blog of 2012 and it's a short poem of the only thing that makes my life worth living till now, my Saviour Jesus Christ. Here's hoping for a great year with Him :)

I'm not proud of my looks or body,
Not proud of anything about me,
I'm not proud of my deeds and what I've done,
Not proud of anything I own under this sun,

But I'm proud to death of my Jesus,
I boast only of my Jesus,
Without Him I know I'm nothing
But with Him I have everything,
All I want and all I will ever need
Thanks to His loving life-saving deed!!!

Once upon a time...

2011-12-29T10:28:00.000-08:00

Once upon a time,

Full of reason and rhyme

Two lovers in love were there,

Their love blossoming into deepest care.

But the world on their love took it's toll

Bringing them closer and closer to a big fall,

But He refused to lose hope and despair,

And continued to show love and care.

She too took her lover's cue,

And tried hard their love to rescue.

Many times through tears they loved,

And through pain they huffed and puffed,

And in the face of many a loss,

They always found a way across.

But the world would not accept defeat,

Instead it chose to wait and retreat,

And in a time of Her moment of pain,

Saw there was lots of ground to gain.

With one lethal strike it stuck Her heart,

And caused Her world to fall apart,

He, not knowing what the world to Her had done,

Tried hard to Her rescue to run,

But alas He hadn't known the pain to Her soul

And when He tried to heal and console,

She chose to run because He could not understand,

All that had happened to her beforehand.

He was hurt and chose to leave,

Her love was gone He did believe.

Time slowly went on and on,

But still His love was not gone,

And with a final effort of heart and soul,

He tried His best the past to hide and roll,

But She would not be swayed because of His One Fault,

Her pain She had stored in Her heart's deep vault.

And so it came to be that their love was ended,

Seemingly never again to be mended,

But there's a song in the air to this day,

That His heart still sings happy and gay,

And when asked why this could be,

He sings with joy for all to see,

"The world may think that I am beat,

And that to me is only cruel defeat,

But victory is mine and will always be,

Because my love for Her she still can see,

And though apart we may always stay,

For each other we still care and pray,

And when the world's time is o'er and done,

Our love will shine on like the Sun."

In every way I can

2011-11-02T15:13:00.001-07:00

As a lover many of us often tell ourselves that we'll try to be the best that we can be. However despite our best intentions we often create a world of hurt for the very one we love. But for me I'm sure now that despite the hurt I cause and my constant failures to be the ideal boyfriend, it doesn't mean that I don't love her, all I can keep on doing is giving my best "in every way I can" and this is what the song's about. (Hopefully when I have enough courage I'll put up the song but for now the lyrics will have to do)

What am I supposed to say?

I don't know what to do!

It's been many a day,

But my love for you's still true.

There are times when I'll hurt you,

Coz I am just a man,

But I promise I'll make it up to you

In every way I can.

You have become a part of me,

A part of life I can't live without.

And I love you can't you see?

Of that I have no more doubt.

I'll never be a perfect man

But you make me wanna get there,

And in every way I can,

I'll show you I do care.

The road has been so long

And we often try and fail.

But our love will grow strong

If on wings of Truth we sail.

There'll be times when we both cry,

Coz i'm still just a man,

But I promise you that I will try,

In every way I can.

In every way I can, I'll show you that I care,

In every way I can, for you I'll be there...

The Miracle of a Friend (Re-post)

2011-10-15T11:41:00.001-07:00

A story inspired by Yuko Ohigashi's "Waiting for you"

"Sometimes a stranger can turn out to be the best friend you've ever had"

Depressed! This word couldn't even justify the gloom in my mind that night. Everything that I had worked so hard for, all that I had held dear, destroyed, obliterated in one afternoon. The pain that was going through my soul, I felt was the kind of stuff that drives men and lovers to end their own existence without second thought. End their own existence? "Why not!", I said to myself, "all that I have ever cherished is gone, so why bother continuing living less than even half a life."

I took the silent trip down the staircase, past my parents' room, who had no idea of the turmoil that was going on in my soul (even if they knew, what could they do?!), down one more flight of stairs till I reached the kitchen. I got the car keys, and deciding against even leaving a note, opened the front door and gate making as little noise as possible.

Then I got in the car and looked at my watch, exactly 3:58 A.M. I drove off wondering where would be the perfect place to end it all. Finally, I decided upon a spot outside of town where as a teen, along with some friends, I had often gone to play football. The roads there were narrow and the cliffs were steep, a perfect place, it seemed, to end it all.

As I drove off, I noticed the dimly lit bulbs in my room from the window and couldn't help but feel a tinge of regret that it had come to this. After all, that was the one place where I had often seen my best days and moments...but I had already come too far, I looked away and floored the accelerator and drove off hoping to escape the spell of the home as quickly as possible.

I drove on and on, and I was now less than 10 minutes away from my destination, and probably less than 15 minutes for the end of it all! Just as I closed my eyes for a split second, I heard a thud. I floored the brakes and when I opened my eyes I was shocked to find a girl lying on the road. I rushed out, and I was so relieved when she got to her feet before I could reach her.

"Are you okay? I am so sorry, I just closed my eyes for a bit there and before it knew it..."

"That's okay," she interrupted, "I'm not hurt, that's all that matters."

I was surprised she took things so coolly. I stared at her, she was no more than 18, a frail thing, in loose torn jeans, dusty black converse shoes and a jacket which was probably two sizes too big for her. Her hair too was in a mess, but her face, it was radiant and beneath the light of the pale yellow street light above, she looked almost ethereal, if you could ignore her clothes long enough to focus on her face.

"What're doing out in the streets so early?" I asked

She smiled back and said "Couldn't sleep a wink so I thought I'd take a walk. Ya know it's lovely being out in the streets this time of the morning or night or whatever you wanna call it. The whole world's yours."

"Holy crap! That's what I always tell my friends and they tell me I'm weird."

"Well thats what I too would call a guy driving around at 4 am in the morning knocking down girls crossing the road."

"Yeah, sorry about that, oh heck, you're knees are bleeding badly, please let me take you home."

"That won't be necessary, but, since you're willing to let me get in your car, lets go to this neat place just outside of town and watch the sun rise, cmon what do ya say?"

"Um, I'm not too sure I can do that..."

"Cant or wont, c'mon ya gave me bloody knees for Christ's sake, you owe me, let's go."

Before I could mutter another word, she was already in the passenger seat of my car, wildly gesturing at me to get in. It couldn't be helped, I did owe her so I figured I might as well grant someone one last favor before I left, so I got in.

She then directed me to the place where she wanted to go and talk about the mother of all coincidences, it was exactly the place where I had intended to depart this earthly life. I was flummoxed.

"Outta the car hombre, rush, get out here," she shouted from the outside.

Not sure what I would do next, I slowly got out of the car and went out. She was leaning back against the hood and smiling in pure joy.

"Beautiful, isn't it hombre? And to think I never woulda made it here if you hadn't come along you big ox," she joked as she punched me on the left arm. "Geez, you're so big, I just gave you one of my best punches and you didn't even wince!"

"You seem to be a sprightly soul," I said after a few seconds of staring at her.

"Aye, that I am, and why shouldn't I be? I absolutely love going to this place. Makes me so happy. It just makes me feel that the world's a beautiful place, each day is a day full of new possibilities and each end brings a new beginning. Isn't that right?"

"..."

"You seem to have a lot on your mind, partner, what say you let them out?"

"Not sure I should, I barely know you."

"Well then," she said as she sprung to her feet, stood at attention, gave me a salute and shouted "Private Hannah at your service, Sir er, sir er, say I don't know your name either."

"I'm Jon", I told her with a smile. There was something about this girl that just spoke to me and even though I would have liked to keep my name a secret, I couldn't help but tell her.

"Well Jon, care to let your good friend Hannah know what's got you so down?"

"Well I suppose, but c'mon lets have a seat."

We walked a few steps away from the car and found a nice spot of grass and we sat down there.

"Well, Hannah, I don't even know where to begin, I shouldn't...you shouldn't even be here with me in this place yet here you are, and I'm supposed to be, supposed to be..."

"Easy there, Jon, don't get worked up, breathe, breathe, breathe!" she said as she rubbed my back.

"Thanks, and sorry about that. Anyway Hannah, I was intending to come to this place anyway to end my life. See that spot over there?" I said as I pointed to a curve in the road a few feet ahead. She nodded. "I had intended to jump off from there and end it all."

"End it all? Don't you have to like suffer major losses and setbacks, or either just be plain crazy to do that?"

I couldn't help but laugh.

"Well you're definitely not crazy, weird maybe but not crazy," she continued "so something really sad must have happened. Care to share."

"Well okay, but promise you won't try to talk me out of it okay?" After she nodded I continued "Well Hannah, for years I had been seeing this girl, and things were great between me and her and we recently had even started discussing marriage. Both her parents had passed away and she lives alone with her brother. But yesterday she met me and told me that she wanted to get away from the town for a couple of days to recharge her batteries and go stay with an aunt. Having already lost a previous girlfriend like this I was insecure and afraid of losing her too, so I put my foot down and told her not to go and that I wouldn't get the tickets for her. She was very hurt and left without saying a word and I was too proud to go after her. After she got home, her kid brother went to the bus station to get a ticket for her but unfortunately on his way back, he got involved in an accident and died on the spot...and it's all my fault! She called me up last night and told me she never wants to see me again for as long as she lives and told me she's leaving town for good. I don't blame her one bit but I can't bear to live with this sadness and I just wanna end it."

"WOW man, that is sad, but do you think that ending yourself really is the way out? I mean, isn't that taking the easy way out?"

"What do you know? You're just a kid," I shot back "You don't know the kind of turmoil and pain that I'm going through now, so lighten up on the advice and the words of wisdom okay?"

"I don't know? I don't know?...Well Jon maybe you're right. I am just a kid and nobody to advise you but then Jon, I'm pretty sure that it's no coincidence that you bumped into silly old me at this exact time. I know I made a promise that I wouldn't try to stop you, and I'll honor that, but please answer one question for me, will you?"

I nodded.

"What do you hope to accomplish by killing yourself?"

"I, I, well it's not so much a question of accomplishing anything as much as it is escaping."

"I see. But have you thought how much your death will hurt the ones you love. I mean right now you're hurt but that will heal but in killing yourself, think about how many more people you're gonna hurt. It's not just about you. Just think about that, would you?"

I stayed silent for a long time and after a while Hannah again broke the silence "Listen, Jon, I know I'm just a kid and you can stop me anytime you want. I don't know a whole lotta stuff yet, but what I do know is that whatever your situation may be you can always make the best of it, you just have to look really hard but there's always a positive note, that I am sure of now. Ending your life, for me is an act of cowardice and selfishness, you run away from your own troubles and in doing so create a heap of problems for others, the very others that you claim to love. Jon, am not gonna ask you not to do it but as a last request to a friend, can you do me a favor?"

"I suppose so."

"That won't do, promise me!"

"Okay, I promise."

"Good and no breaking your word. Please don't kill yourself today, it's already too bright anyway. Go back home, get some rest and come see me this evening. I promise you, this very night, I will be able to convince you that it is possible to go on and find a way to be happy even when you think that things are at their worst. If I fail, then you may go ahead and kill yourself."

"Okay then. Let me get you home."

As we got up and walked towards the car, she panted a bit. I thought something was wrong and just as I was about to ask if she was alright, she looked up at me and went "You big dummy, now you've got me emotional and ready to cry. Get me home fast I don't want you to see me cry."

As we walked back to the car, it was funny but I was actually glad I bumped into Hannah and even though I was still sad at the events of the past day, I had made a promise to her and I intended to keep it. I admit, my curiosity was also piqued and I was eager to see how she would go about what said she would do. We reached her home and as she got out, she hugged me, gave me a kiss on the cheek and said "Rest well, see ya tonight ya big dummy."

I reached home, cleaned up and finally hit the sack. I was dead tired and I awoke only by 5:30 in the evening. I then freshened up, got dressed, grabbed a quick bite and set off towards Hannah's house. What awaited me there I was not prepared for, I saw people all around her house and there were sounds of weeping. I rushed in and the news I heard shocked me, very badly, Hannah was dead! She died exactly half an hour after we had reached her house. Then a man came up to me and asked, "Are you Jonathan?"

I nodded.

"I'm Hannah's father. She wanted you to have this", he said as he handed me an envelope.

He then explained to me Hannah had been suffering from leukemia for the past many years and she finally succumbed to it that very day.

"She was an amazing child," her dad said "she never complained about her situation but rather she would often be the one to comfort me and her mom and tell us that in all things there's always a way to be happy. She cared for everybody around her so much, especially her elder sister. When she came back with you this morning she was so happy. She wrote something for you and also wrote a note for me and her mother, and told us not to open it until either she passed away or when she told us to open it, whichever was first. We never imagined that it would come to this."

She was indeed an amazing kid. She had kept her word and showed me exactly what she said she would do. I am so thankful that I met that angel. She has given me a fresh hope and a courage to go on and face new challenges with the knowledge that I can always find a way to be happy if I tried hard enough...and she's given me much more than that, for in the letter she left for her parents was my story and how I needed someone to love me and in my envelope was a photo and a phone number, that of her sister's.

Below is a song called "Waiting for you" by Yuko Ohigashi, the inspiration behind the story.

A Suicide Note

2011-09-12T14:29:00.000-07:00

T'is not as I had planned,

But t'is out of my hand,

The chords of life are cruel,

Pitting me in a constant duel

Where my chance of winning is none,

With each loss I'm further done!

Every step with pain is stained

Leaving me evermore drained!

I wished I could be more

And to my dreams do soar,

But to failure am I born

And to the end I sojourn

Lonely,hurt,crushed and in pain

With nothing to learn or gain.

Faretheewell cruel cruel life

I tire of every strife

And with a twist and a knot

I bid thee a goodbye nod...

Free at last so I think,

Standing on the brink

Of my last few moments

No more laments

I go,I go,I go,I go

But to where I do not know...

Night

2011-09-06T12:46:00.000-07:00

Neath the Moon's silver-tinted glow,

My sleepiness does grow.

My senses slowly dull,

My thoughts gradually lull.

Pitter-patter goes the rain,

Washing away my day's pain

While the lights all around

Within moments are no longer found.

Soon sweet darkness has it's way

And my mind begins to sway

Like the gentle rocking ocean

Clearing all my heart's emotion.

In the distance I hear a song

As if asking me to sing along;

But t'is only the night breeze,

Asking me to rest with gentle pleas.

Sweet,sweet sleep I come now,

And with one last gentle bow,

I bid this day a happy goodbye,

And rest now with a sweet sweet sigh.

The Last Flower

2011-09-06T12:43:00.000-07:00

It was a beautiful summer evening in Staunton Park. The setting Sun was taking one last view at the town it had been watching over for years before resting for the night and leaving charge of the night to his good friend the Moon. The lake, which was in the middle of the park seemed to enjoy the last evening smile of the Sun and took great delight in highlighting the joy found on the his face to the only two people who were there that evening, Chris and Maggie. This was no ordinary evening one could tell simply from the atmosphere. The reddish tint of the Sun’s final few moments was amplified by the mirroring waters of the lake and the songs of the breeze who took great delight in the company of the trees and leaves and their harmonious song was enough to capture the minds of even the most distressed soul and give them peace.

However, there was no distress on the minds of Chris and Maggie. Married only a couple of months back, they were as happy and cheerful as anyone could be and the joy that these two shared can only be understood by one who knows what it’s like to have everything that they could ever want in this lifetime; such was their love and affection for one another.

As they were walking hand in hand along the path by the side of the lake, Maggie suddenly lifted her head, looked at Chris and asked, “Do you hear that, honey?”

Chris asked, “What? I didn’t hear anything sweetie.”

“Listen carefully; I think I hear someone singing!”

“You’re right, it’s coming from behind that huge tree over there,” Chris said, as he pointed to a tree right in the middle of the park. “C’mon lets go check it out.”

As they neared the tree, Maggie examined it and remarked, “Isn’t it strange, Chris, there’s a single flower on that tree, and it’s not even supposed to blossom this time of year!”

“That is rather queer, Maggie, I don’t know why, but I feel so heavy in my heart, like I could just weep for no reason.”

“I feel so too honey, it’s so strange.”

Suddenly a small old man appeared from behind the tree, and greeted Chris and Maggie.

“Hello there, it’s been so long since anyone has come to this park. It’s so nice to meet someone, I’m the caretaker and I must say I’m so glad you two came this way.”

“Hello,” Maggie replied “we’re just visiting this town to meet some relatives and wanted to take a walk. That’s why we came to this park coz we could see it from the inn where we’re staying. I must say I’m surprised there aren’t more people here, this is such a lovely place.”

“It is, isn’t it?” the old man replied, “but yes, it’s true not many people come here. This is a rather small town but everyone is so busy with their own work nobody has time to stop and admire Mother Nature’s beauty. There are also rumors going round that this park is haunted, and people generally avoid it, especially in the evenings.”

“Haunted?” Maggie asked, “how silly, but come to think of it we heard some strange singing as we were walking, that’s why we came near this tree.”

“My singing has been called a lot of things,” the old man smiled, “but that’s the first time I’ve heard someone call it strange.”

“That was you? I’m so sorry, I didn’t know,” Maggie blushed.

“That’s quite okay young lady, anyway I’m glad the two of you came, it’s been so long since I had company and I’m quite glad for it. I’m glad my ‘weird singing’ served a purpose. What do you think of this tree here?”

“Well it’s one of the biggest trees I’ve ever seen,” Chris replied “ and it’s strange that there’s a single flower when it’s not even supposed to be flowering yet, it’s not the season, and also when we came near it we felt a strange feeling of sadness, it’s quite odd really.”

“Not many people would have noticed the flower,” the old man smiled, “well done! And you felt sad you say?”

“Yes,” Maggie replied, “and we didn’t even know why but we just wanted to cry.”

“Well, it is a very old tree and they say it holds many secrets, not only secrets, but the tree has a wonderful yet really sad story to it, would you like to hear it?”

“By all means, we love stories,” the couple replied in unison.

“Excellent then, sit my down my dears and allow me to share what I know.”

“Now then my dearies, let us begin, once upon a time when the land was much younger and before this town was as big as it is now, this tree was still here but it was no ordinary tree. You see, there were once tiny men and tiny women, much smaller than us, who lived in this tree and Hobnobs were they called, magical beings they were. Very few people knew of them and even they that knew were unaware where they came from or how they came to be. They were a shy people and kept to themselves. They had a King and Queen to rule over them and as long as there was a King and there was a Queen, the Hobnobs were happy and had long healthy lives, free from sickness and despair. They took great delight in things that grow and it is said that this tree always had flowers no matter what time of the year it was, for the love and peace that the Hobnobs had in their hearts would make things all around grow and flourish and this tree which was their home was a picture of beauty and tranquility. Now the King and Queen had a daughter who they loved full well and it was almost time for her to marry and choose a husband who would then be King after her mother and father passed away, as thus had always been among the Hobnobs. The Princess, Esmeralda as she was called was a beautiful Hobnob, with rosy cheeks, long golden locks with a smile and a heart as radiant as the Sun. She was a loving and compassionate being who took great delight in the well-being of others and every Hobnob knew she would one day make a great Queen and looked forward to her rule. But one day, as she was out on the high branches of the tree, she saw a human boy come into the field and the boy tripped and hurt himself and started crying. The Princess watched and waited for someone to come to his aid but even after a long time no one came and comforted the boy for the boy was an orphan. Finally, after a long time, the boy picked himself up, cleaned his wound and limped back towards the town and the Princess was full of sorrow at this sight.

‘This human world is so sad,’ she said to herself ‘why do not they take care of each other as we do here?’ and with this thought she went back to the castle. That night she could not sleep, images of the crying boy filled her head and she could not stop weeping at this. When everyone was asleep, she got up and said to herself, ‘I must show the humans the true meaning of love and care, for I have no greater responsibility than this. Father and mother can find someone else to lead the people, for me it is clear that I have to go into the human world and teach them what it is like to care for others.’ With that she went to the library, took an old book on Hobnob magic and immediately started to cast a spell on herself which would change her into a human. A few minutes later, there was a flash and an explosion of bright light and she was gone, where to nobody knew at that time.

That morning, there was a great commotion in the castle. By then, the King and Queen as well as everybody other Hobnob had realized the Princess was gone, but where to nobody knew. The King sent every Hobnob to all parts of the tree, from the highest branch to the lowest root, but no one could find the Princess and everyone despaired. The King went into a deep depression and he was joined by her Queen and every Hobnob experienced sadness for the first time in their lives. You see, among the Hobnobs there was no sadness before this, not even in death because when a Hobnob died, he or she simply vanished. Their body was absorbed into the tree where they would become a flower and every Hobnob knew that every other Hobnob who died and became a flower would soon be reborn among them simply by a different name and a different body, but it was always the same Hobnob who was reborn and hence there was no grieving even in death. This is why they were called Hobnobs, which in the language of the olden days meant “Children of the Tree.” But at the disappearance of the Princess, things changed. There was now a flower which could never be reborn and no one knew what would happen. The whole tree mourned and for days no one could do a thing, until a young Hobnob by the name of Maric came to the castle. He was widely touted as being a clever, resourceful Hobnob who had a curiosity matched only by his quick wit. He looked around in the castle library and found the book on old magic the Princess had used. He immediately recognized the Princess had used it by the way it was placed upside down. He then alerted the King immediately and once the King and Queen and they saw the book, they fell down on their knees and wept. ‘By all that is holy do you know what this means?’ the King asked Maric. Maric replied in the negative. The King then explained to Maric, ‘This book teaches the shape shifting magic, the ability to change into a human. The poor Princess, she doesn’t know that whoever casts this spell on herself loses all memory. It must be cast by another and also the only way to change back is through a particular potion of which she has no knowledge of. Oh the poor foolish child, I’m afraid we’ve lost her forever.’

‘My King, we need not lose her forever, I, Maric your humble servant is willing to go after her and look for her in the human world with your permission.’

‘My child, I could not ask such a thing from you, it is too risky. We do not know if you could ever find her or if she would even be willing to come back. It is a fool’s errand.’

‘I would gladly be a fool for you, your Majesty, please, I beg of you, for your sake, for your Queen’s sake and for the people’s sake, let me go look for her. The people need you and want you to be happy and without Princess Esmeralda, you and your Queen never can be happy, so please let me take this quest, on behalf of every Hobnob, I beg you!’

‘Ah my child, such courage and dedication, thank you. Very well, I shall grant your request. But first, you must have the potion which can change you both back when you find her, this will take a while to prepare, as soon as it is ready then you shall go.’

‘Thank you, your Majesty.’

After a few hours, the potion was ready and preparations were made to send Maric to look for Princess Esmeralda. All was now ready except for the casting of the spell, which would be done by the King himself, so that Maric would not lose his memory as the Princess did. In front of every Hobnob, the King spoke his final words to Maric wishing him every success and good fortune followed by a huge cheer from every single Hobnob who saluted Maric’s bravery. Such an event had never occurred in the history of the Hobnobs. Though the shape shift spell had been there for ages, it had never been practiced before this, and now in the space of a short time, it was to be used for a second time. The spell was cast and then with a flash and an explosion of bright light, Maric was gone, and every Hobnob wondered if they would ever see him or the Princess again.

When Maric regained consciousness, he was lying in a field of green grass and when he opened his eyes, the first thing he saw was his former home. It was the first time he saw it from outside and he was amazed and proud at how beautiful it was. Being a practical Hobnob, he soon sprang to his feet and said to himself, ‘Well I want to get back home fast, and so I’d better start looking for the Princess. Ancestors guide me!’ With that he started to trudge towards the town but couldn’t help but turn back after every few seconds. He was already badly homesick but then the realization that all the Hobnobs were counting on him strengthened his resolve and he started to walk faster and very soon he was in the village.

Soon Maric entered the village and it was here that he truly realized the enormity of the task in front of him. There were people in the town than he had ever imagined and to find the Princess, who had no idea of her identity, was truly going to be a monumental task. He spent the whole day asking people if they had seen or heard of someone named Esmeralda and sadly for him, there was no one in town by that name. Having no human money, he slept in the streets that night and were it not for some kind souls who thought him a homeless beggar and offered him food, he would have starved. These kind souls also offered to give him food and shelter for as long as he needed and Maric was touched. He said he would accept the food but that he preferred to sleep in the streets. This way he could continue his search even at night. The whole night he searched again but to no avail. Exhausted, he collapsed at the break of dawn. It was during this time he had a dream. In his dream his mother appeared to him and reminded him that a Hobnob is born out of love and joy and will always spread this wherever he or she goes.

The next morning, the same family who had given him food the previous night caught up with him and offered him breakfast. Maric was deeply touched and thanked them profusely and also asked them why they were doing such a thing. The man, whose name was Henry told Maric, ‘My wife Sally and I have for many years tried to have a baby but we’ve never been able to. Just a few days ago, we met this young woman who seemed lost. We took her in and she had no idea who she was or where she’s from, so we’ve taken her in as our daughter. Ever since that day, we’ve been blessed with so much joy and happiness that we’ve tried our best to help out everyone we can. Everyone in the village has noticed this and is also starting to show each other kindness in ways like we never have before. It’s truly amazing and it’s all because of our daughter who we’ve named Amanda.’ Maric’s eyes grew wide as he heard this and immediately asked if he could meet Amanda. The couple happily obliged and took Maric home and introduced him to Amanda.

As soon as Maric laid eyes on Amanda he was sure as his next breath that it was none other than Princess Esmeralda. Henry and Sally then told Maric that they were off their fields but that he was welcome to stay at home and keep Amanda company. As soon as they were gone, Maric tried to tell Amanda about the Hobnobs and who she was but Amanda laughed it off. She said he was being silly and that he shouldn’t repay her parents’ kindness to him by trying to steal her away with lies. Maric didn’t know what to do and for the rest of the day he was deep in thought. Henry and Sally came back in the evening and asked Maric to stay for the night to which Maric agreed.

That night Maric had another dream. This time he saw his father who reminded him that Hobnobs are children of the tree and have the gift of making anything they plant grow and flourish in ways that no others can. He woke up in the morning, felt for his pocket and found some seeds there. He then had an idea. After breakfast, he suggested to Henry and Sally that he and Amanda would go into the fields and work that day while the couple stayed at home and rested. The family thought it to be a wonderful idea. Henry laughed out, ‘We ordinarily wouldn’t trust a stranger to go into the fields with our daughter alone. We don’t know why son, but we trust you so much, so go ahead. And thanks for giving our old bones a chance to rest.’

With that, Maric and Amanda left for the fields and once there he asked her how long it usually took seeds to grow into a fully grown tree. Amanda replied that it takes many years. Maric then said to Amanda, ‘I’m going to prove to you now that you’re really a Hobnob. Take these seeds and plant them here. Water it personally everyday for the next one week and see what happens. After this evening, I’m not coming back with you to town. I shall be in the field outside town, the one with the big tree and once you’re convinced that what I’ve told you is true, then come and meet me there. You can tell your parents I’ve left for my hometown. Don’t worry about me, I shall have fruits to eat there. I will go now and wait for you. Farewell for now.’

With that Maric left and Amanda thought to herself, ‘What a strange man! But I guess there’s no harm in granting his request. I shall water this seed like he said and see for myself.’ That evening she went home alone and as Maric requested she told her parents that Maric had left for home and with that they forgot about him.

Maric on his part waited and waited for weeks but still he saw no signs of Amanda and thought that she had forgotten about him. However, he knew there was nothing he could do. ‘Anyway, if that’s the life she chose, so be it. Henry and Sally are taking good care of her so perhaps it’s better for her.’ He however decided that he would not return without her and chose to remain behind in the human world. ‘After all, I can’t go back a failure and I shall not die of hunger so I shall take this exile as a punishment for my failure.’

After a month or so had passed one day he saw a young woman running towards the field and when he looked closer, it was Amanda. As soon as she saw him she exclaimed, ‘I’m so sorry, my parents and I went to the city to sell our crops and we were away. As soon as we came back I started watering your seed and within exactly one week it grew into a fully sized tree. My dad is still shocked and amazed and I don’t know how you did it, but what you said came true. Now I still don’t believe you about the Hobnob thing but I came to tell you that I hadn’t forgotten about you and wanted to tell you that I fulfilled your request of me. If there’s nothing else, I’ll go back to town now.’

Maric stared at Amanda then said, ‘There’s just one more thing I’d like to request of you. It is said that this tree carries the being of every Hobnob, even their memories, so I don’t know what will happen but please just touch this tree. Just put on a finger on it, please I beg you.’

‘Well there’s no harm in that I suppose,’ said Amanda and she put her right hand on the tree. Nothing happened. But then just as she was about to remove her hand, she started trembling! Then miraculously, in a few minutes she came to her senses and remembered everything. The joy in Esmeralda and Maric was such that words could not do justice. Esmeralda thanked Maric for coming for her and after Maric told her about the potion, she told him, ‘Greater love than this has no one ever shown. You came for me willing to sacrifice everything. You have shown love to me and our people and when we return, I shall have no one else as my husband. A more worthy ruler for our people will never be found aside from you.’

With that Maric gave her the potion and she took a sip. But yet again nothing happened! They were both shocked. ‘Perhaps we’ve been human too long that the potion is no longer effective,’ said Esmeralda, ‘then again perhaps it’s meant to be. If we can’t return, at least we still have each other and if you’ll have me, I’m willing to be your wife and live my life as a human with you beside me, Hobnob or not. I await your reply.’

‘Princess…’ stuttered Maric and just as he was about to say ‘yes’ to her, there was a flash and Esmeralda was gone. In his excitement Maric had forgotten what the King had told him; that it took a while for the potion to take effect. However to his great dismay, the remnant of the potion was now spilt all over the ground for it was still in Esmeralda’s hand when she changed back. Even greater was the sorrow for Esmeralda and Maric, for they were gone so long the King thought they had disappeared for good and while they were gone, the ancient magic book was destroyed so that it would never be used again and the spell was lost forever, and with it Maric’s chance to return to the Hobnobs.

It is said that Maric grew old and died of age as a human, while in the tree Esmeralda would not marry anyone else even after her mother and father died. Having no King on the throne, the Hobnobs all fell into a deep sleep and the flowers all disappeared, all except one. They say that the single flower is the spirit of Esmeralda waiting for her beloved Maric to return to her side and restore the Kingdom. The magic in the tree preserved Esmeralda but the same could not be said for Maric and his being was lost forever. However, should a couple of true heart and pure love shed tears for Maric, it is said his spirit will be able to find his way back to the tree but this has not happened till now and perhaps never will…and that is the end of my tale my dearies. I hope you enjoyed it.”

“What a beautiful tale,” cried Maggie wiping the tears from her eyes.

“I agree, it was a beautiful story,” Chris added.

“Chris, you aren’t crying, c’mon what’s wrong with you? It might save Maric,” Maggie cried.

“Sweetie, it’s just a story, I’m an author, I write stuff like that, I don’t cry over them.”

“Guess you’re right, sorry honey.”

“It’s all right sweetie.”

The old man then thanked them for listening to his tale and told them he would be going home for the night. He added, “Come back tomorrow if you want to hear more stories.”

With that they parted company and the couple went back to their room to retire for the night.

The next morning, Maggie suggested that since they had nothing else to do, they go visit the old man again and listen to more of his tales. Chris agreed.

Once they reached the park, they didn’t find the old man and looked around. The saw another person there and asked him where they could find the caretaker. The man replied, “I am the caretaker.”

Chris said, “There was another caretaker here, an old man, I’m sure you must’ve seen him.”

The man replied, “Sir, I’ve been working here for 10 years and I’m the only caretaker, I promise you, why would I lie?”

Confused, the couple approached the tree and to their great surprise, you would not believe it, it was covered with flowers; flowers of all colors, shapes and sizes. There were so many that the tree seemed weighed down, but even when a strong wind blew against it, no flowers fell; except two which glided down into the palms of Chris and Maggie. The couple just stared with their mouths open.

“Chris???” stuttered Maggie.

“Maggie, sweetie, I have a confession to make, last night I couldn’t sleep so I got up in the middle of the night and came here. I thought about the old man’s story and realized how much it would hurt me if I ever lost you like that and before I knew it, a single tear found its way down my cheek to the trunk of this tree!”

“Alas, thou sad sad tree,

There is yet hope for thee.

Hearts joined by truest of love

Have been sent from above.”

Blah...Blah...Yak...Yak!!!

2011-02-02T09:35:00.000-08:00

Bet the title got anyone reading what this entry's all about. I am just having one of those days that you wish would end as quickly as possible so that you can forever delete it from your memory. The annoying part is that I've been having a lot of those lately and it's starting to get on my nerves. My main reason for being angry is this, why can't our society hardly ever say nice things about other people, rather than focusing on people's good points, we would rather magnify and amplify their faults. As if this isn't bad enough, sometimes some overenthusiastic idiots choose to fabricate stories about other people and spread them as if they were saying something absolutely true. It really is sad that our Mizo society is like this. I don't know if this is the case in other societies but it's the one thing about our society that drives me mad and at times makes me want to leave the state forever.

Lately from many different sources, I've been hearing bad things about my friends and even myself. I try and tell myself that it's better to be above all this and just choose to ignore all this but there comes a point when you can no longer take it, especially when you hear gossip about people who mean a lot to you. I don't wish to specify all I heard but the thing that really peeved me lately is the gossip I've been hearing about my little angel and my relationship with her. Now I'm not really the type to go around venting my anger and my frustration at other people so for therapeutic purposes, I am going to vent out all my boiling frustrations here and I have a feeling it won't be pretty.

The thing that pushed me over my limit today was two gossips I heard lately. The first juicy story was that my little girl and I spend time together everyday and even on Sunday we're always together even in church and we have no respect for anyone around us since most of the time we're not even aware of the people around us as we are always full of ourselves. The truth is this: during weekdays she attends classes from 10 to 4, and I'm always busy doing this and that at home and hardly ever have time to go out. How then can we possibly meet everyday?True there are days I have some work and she accompanies me but to insinuate that we do this everyday, grrrrr! The only time we can meet for sure is on Sundays and even then we are always in the company of other friends who can testify the truth of this statement. In fact, we have so little time exclusively to ourselves that she often feels like we don't have time to talk about matters of the heart. Where this gossip came from, I know not, I only know that the source must be a desperate loser somewhere who has nothing better to do.

The second juicy tit-bit was that I'm two-timing my little angel. It appears I actually have a girlfriend who's studying theology somewhere, but since my little angel likes me so much I feel sorry for her and I am with her for now even though both of us know that there's another girl somewhere else. WOW!!! I didn't even know this about myself, whoever came to find this out I would love to meet that person because he/she knows more things about me than I myself do.

It's things like this that makes my blood boil. Another thing I can't stand about our society is our hypocritical and judgemental attitude towards people who are in love. "OH, they always follow each other everywhere", "OH, they're always together"...some of the stuff we might hear. I would like to say to these people who say such stuff "SO BLOODY WHAT???!!! It's their lives, let them live it as they want, who are you to comment on what they do? The truth is that if you found someone you really like you would probably do the same or even more but you're just so bloody miserable being judgmental that nobody even wants to be around you!!!"

Having said all these, I am now going to go back to my normal everyday life and try once again to show that these gossips and judgmental remarks mean nothing to me, and once my barrel is full, I shall once again let everything out here.

Thank God for blogs :)

Through His Eyes...

2011-02-01T11:49:00.000-08:00

My first blog of 2011, the first time that I feel really compelled to write anything, and I am so glad that it's going to be about love, not human love but the greatest love of all time, the love that our Heavenly Father has for us. Praise be to His name that I'm alive today to be able to write about this glorious love.

God has been using my little angel who I love so much to teach me so many things lately. I certainly am glad that this has been the case because being the stubborn mule that I am I might not have learnt anything from anyone else. He certainly knows how to speak to each person as needed :)

It's a well known fact that everyone on this Earth is flawed. Show me a perfect person aside from Jesus and I'll show you my third nostril. Being flawed by nature and being surrounded by people who are also flawed, it certainly is easy to get discouraged in anything by each and everything around us. This was the case with my relationship in the past few months. In the first phase which I call the obsession phase, everything about my little girl amazed me and there were times I believed she really was an angel in every sense of the word,even literally. Come the second phase, the reality phase, we got to know each other better and slowly by slowly, little by little,with each passing day I find that she's not perfect. This continued for almost two months at the end of which I was disillusioned and a hair's breadth away from calling our relationship quits because she didn't live up to the expectations I had of her. On my knees, I gave everything up to Him because as a man and as a person I didn't know what else to do...and that's when He starts taking control :)

First came a reminder from Him how imperfect I too am and how in His eyes the concept of "relative sin" does not exist. Then a reminder that even I myself would not be able to live up to the expectations I had of her. A humbling experience I must admit. Then, He starts showing me how He sees her and I broke down because in His eyes, she is just so precious. He then shows me that it's just not her, it's everyone who chooses to love Him. It doesn't matter what we did before, as long as we confess our sins and make the choice to follow Him, He not only forgives our sins, He blots them out from His memory forever, Hallelujah, Praise be to GOD!!! If the Lord who made the Heavens and the Earth forgave and forgot anything she or anyone else might have done, who am I to hold anything against her or anyone else and with this thought I was ashamed of myself that even subconsciously, I actually considered myself better than her!!!

Now, the only thing I see when I look at her is the love He has for her and the great future He has for her if she continues to follow Him. And praise be to Him because I see in her life a longing for Him and a desire to love Him more with each passing day. Though she may still be an infant in her relationship with Him, as long as she continues like this, though she may be weak, He is strong and He will guide her. The walk will be difficult but I know that if I join her in that walk, it will be easier for both of us in many ways. My choice now is to walk that walk with her and be with her, to cherish her and to love her with all that I am for as long as He allows and if that walk together is meant to last this lifetime, I would be the happiest man on Earth, if not, I would still thank Him for bringing her into my life and teaching me to love and to appreciate others through her.

Thank you Lord for everything!!!

This is the song God used to wake me up, Dennis Jernigan's "This is my Destiny". I hope you'll be blessed too!!! He loves us all so much and if we choose to remain faithful to Him, we have a great destiny, God bless you all!!!

Dream a little dream of me

2010-10-17T17:35:00.001-07:00

Have you ever had a dream so real and wonderful that the next day you woke up wishing that the dream was reality. I certainly have, very recently in fact. Not wishing to be labelled as an over-sentimental softy, I will refrain from going into the details of the dream but it certainly was wonderful and it was a dream about my little angel:)

It got me thinking on Michael W.Smith's old old song "Do you dream of me?", a song in which he asks his lover if "beyond the promises" they keep, she still dreams of him.

A scary question indeed simply because of the fact that one can't really control one's dreams, or can he?

Being a big fan of Freud I started thinking over and over and I have no research or study to show that this is true, but for me I believe that if you think of a person or event long and hard enough before drifting off to slumber-land, chances are pretty high that you might just see whatever it was in your dream.

It pleases me a lot, in my own simple way, that I care and think of her enough that I even see her in my dream.

However, I'm not gonna join ol' Michael and ask her the same question he asked his lover as the fear of getting a negative reply reply would be a bit like a bee-sting, not enough to shed tears over, but very uncomfortable, and so I refrained :)

But I guess good things really does come to he who waits! I love her so much because just tonight when I was thinking on this, I get a text from her at 2:30 A.M telling me that she dreamt of me...and in a good way too, so in ending I can safely say that we both dream a little dream of each other :)

[Here's a record I made for the same titled song, one of my favorites of all time :)]

Sleep

2010-10-07T13:10:00.000-07:00

Sleep, sleep, sleep
That's all I want, for all I pray,
To sleep away these thoughts so grey.

Sleep, sleep, sleep
While the world outside my window sill
Is peaceful, so calm and so still.

Sleep, sleep, sleep
While the Moory Mother Moon smiles down
O'er my beloved weary, resting town.

Sleep, sleep, sleep
To give rest to my tired eyes and dream
Of a dear girl who makes my heart gleam.

Sleep. sleep, sleep
While the playful twirling night breezes
Sing the song of life sung for ages.

Sleep, sleep, sleep
That's all I want, for all I pray,
To sleep away till the dawn's next day...

Come to me now sleep so dear...

Song for my Angel

2010-09-02T12:33:00.000-07:00

A few weeks ago, 10th of August to be exact, I had a talk with my little angel and she said something that hurt me deep down. She told me 'I'm not good enough for you...' and a few other stuff but that was the line that really stuck in my heart. I felt sad and hurt that she thought of herself this way and at that moment being an escapist I lightened up the talk by making her laugh. But as I lay on my bed, I couldn't stop thinking and finally decided that the best way to make her feel better was to write a song for her, to tell her that I love her so much and in my eyes, there is no such thing as a "not good enough for you". The most important thing, according to me is that we love each other with all our heart and soul, and the rest (hopefully) will fall into place with enough prayers and petitions to the Almighty. But enough rambling here's the song and as soon as I can get access to a decent recording device (cell phones excluded) I will upload a video. But for now, the lyrics will have to do...

I AM YOURS

I know it's late tonight
But sleep's not on my side,
Cos I thought on what we said,
And there's fear there in your head.
But don't you worry,
Don't be afraid;
Cos there's one thing that I want you to know...

I love you and adore you
From the bottom of my heart
I love you.
I'm in love with you,
So in love with you,
So don't you fear,
Cos I am yours

I know there'll be times ahead
When all hope seems so dead.
But it's just the way we are,
Good things always seem so far.
But don't you worry,
Don't be afraid.
Cos there's one thing I want you to remember...

I still love you, still adore you.
From the bottom of my heart, I love you.
Still in love with you,
So in love with you.
So don't you fear cos I am yours.

The course of time will unfold,
All new will turn to old.
But still you'll be in my arms,
With you by my side,
We can face
Anything...

The Sky

2010-08-15T13:47:00.000-07:00

A simple little poem which I wrote years ago (in 1996 to be exact) which just popped back into my head tonight :)

How beautiful is the sky,
Like a clear blue sea.
And the clouds so high
Makes me think in glee,
What it would feel like to fly
On the wings of a bumble bee!

The Silver Ring

2010-08-11T14:05:00.000-07:00

A simple silver ring this gift may be,
Neither flashy nor grand as you can see;
But it's a promise for you from me,
That I'll be forever true to thee.

Like a river, time will endlessly flow;
The things in this world they will come and go.
But like the ring on your finger does show,
Our love's a circle and with time will grow.

Gold

2010-08-10T13:22:00.000-07:00

Stories long told,
The songs of old;
A Life once lived,
Deaths many grieved;
Pictures painted,
Words we chanted;
The smiles we shared,
Days we despaired;

Times of old,
Indeed are gold!

One Message Received

2010-08-07T14:31:00.001-07:00

Tension filling the very air,
Eagerness in every strand of hair.
The clock's every tick grows longer,
It's sound becoming ever stronger
While every breath becomes labored;
Reality getting altered.

The shadows on the blank wall
Engaging in a reckless brawl
Each with their very own intention
Like a sulky angry ocean.

Finally time seems to stop,
You can hear even a pin drop;
The silence deafening your senses
Reminding all your offenses.

Then you hear that magical note
And Hope once again is afloat
The three words that make it worthwhile
Casting all fear into exile-
ONE MESSAGE RECEIVED

[Any lover in a long distance relationship knows what I'm talking about :)]

Men and Women

2010-07-14T12:51:00.000-07:00

DISCLAIMER: The following note is written for the purpose of a few cheap laughs and not to be taken seriously. If you are offended by any of these, you're a douche bag and need to have a sense of humor surgically implanted. All males and females mentioned are stereotypical. Any resemblance to any real person, dead or alive, is unfortunate... for that person, but extremely funny for me. :P

As the title of a famous book by John Gray goes, "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus". It's abundantly clear that they are two separate entities from entirely different worlds, and hence the differences are bound to abound. Here are a few that this ogre has observed (with more and more additions to arrive in the coming months and years).

1. Women know that they think a lot, men on the other hand think they know a lot.

2. Nine times out of ten, a woman will be able to recall where she last placed the object she's looking for and find it still there; ten times out of ten, a man will think he remembers where he last placed that damned object, only to find it's miles away from where he thought it was, he then concludes the woman must have placed it there.

3. Women have understood the phrase "more skin is sexy" and are known to show off the right amount of skin to get things done at the right time; Men however have misunderstood the phrase and grow paunches (expand their skin) thinking that this somehow turns women on (we're talking average males here).

4. Women think that to please her man, they must dress well , but for a man a woman doesn't have to dress at all to please him.

5. Women have realized that scratching their asses in public is not socially acceptable behavior; Men, sadly, have not!

6. For a woman, the smaller the underwear, the more attractive it becomes to men; In the case of men, well let's leave it at that.

7. If a woman is able to do stuff that normally guys do really well, she's cool; A man who does stuff a woman does really well, not cool.

8. Women often lie to others to make them feel better, men just lie!

9. Women can say FOX without thinking of Megan Fox; men can't even send a fax without doing so.

10. Women can be nice to other men and women without any problems; if a man is nice to another man he's gay, if he's nice to another woman, he's a flirt.

11. Women around the world often hold each others' hands while walking in the streets; if you see two men holding hands and walking on the road, you must be in India,,,and if they hold pinkies, Mumbai [courtesy of Russell Peters hehe :)]

12. A woman can wear her boyfriend's clothes and still look good; a man can never, must never and should never wear his girlfriend's clothes...PERIOD!!!

My Best Friend PART II

2010-07-12T04:10:00.000-07:00

I waited for her in the living room. I saw that the living room was very well organized with books in one corner, a grand piano in another corner with the fireplace right next to it. It was a very cozy room indeed and I felt right at home.

Soon Tiffany came down. She was wearing a red frock with black laces, her hair was tied up in a red ribbon and her cheeks were pale yet rosy.

“Now you two have fun, and don’t wander too far. Remember how easily you catch cold Tiffany, do be careful.”

The rest of the afternoon we just sat by the ol’ tree near the chapel. I told Tiffany all about the town and about the guys. I also apologized about what happened that night. She said it was ok, she hadn’t wanted to come but her mom had asked her to. We had a lovely talk and soon I walked her back to her house and went home for tea.

However, you cannot always hold all the marbles in your hand and not drop any. Some of my friends had seen me with her, and they had secretly spied over me, even recording what we had said. The next day they started poking fun at me, accusing me of liking her and such stuff, and I got so angry that I gave Freddy a box on his ear. After that he and three other guys started attacking me. Just as it was raining fists on my face, ol’ Moe suddenly showed up and chased my friends away.

My nose was bleeding badly, so Moe took me to his house. It was the first time that I had been inside his house and I admit, I was a little scared.

“So, why was your friends beating you to a pulp, huh?”

I told Moe all that happened and he broke out into a loud laugh. Rubbing the blood off my face he proceeded to tell me this story about himself:

“Aye, there was this strange girl I met a good many years back. I was young then, about your age. She was very silent and she fascinated me. I wanted to go make friends with her but never had the courage. Once I saw her being teased by the town bullies and she was crying. I ran to her and helped her out. From that day me and her were slowly becoming good friends.

Years passed we were still good friends but I started realizing that people started making fun of me as she was just the daughter of an old man who lived outside town buying and selling junk and my father was the head of this here post-office, so I started avoiding her and last I heard of her, she ran away, it’s rumored she eloped with someone or something I heard, am not sure though. Rumors are hardly true but anyways she did disappear. But I don’t mean to bore ya son, just telling you a little part of my history. Anyways my advice to you be don’t a start drinkin like me, hehehe, I was once wealthy man but look at me now.”

I thanked Moe for everything and soon left for home. I grew so restless that night, what was happening to me, why couldn’t I stop thinking about little Tiffany. In my heart I started hating her. She was the reason why I fought with my good friends. I decided never to see her again but I couldn’t stop thinking about her though.

Christmas and New Year celebrations were over and it was time again for school. That year of school flew by. Mrs. Winters turned out to be a great teacher and all of us, even lil’ Stu came out with flying colors. However the only student who didn’t do well was Tiffany which surprised us as she was the teacher’s daughter and we expected her to top the class, but she came dead last. But I told myself I wasn’t gonna bother myself with her, my friends were more important.

Many a time, Mrs. Winters came to me and asked me to come over to their house for tea but I always had one excuse or another and so I always managed to escape going there.

It had been a whole year since I had last spoken to Tiffany and I was starting to forget all about her and life was slowly getting back to normal. One day I went for a walk to the lake. It was unbelievably cold that day, it snowed for the first time in many years and I just wanted to see the frozen lake. I reached the lake in half an hour and sat in silence.

Suddenly I saw a small squirrel, a thin, tiny one, walking around in the snow. I fixed my eyes on it. There was a group of other healthier looking squirrels near it and they were feasting on some nuts. The small squirrel tried to join them but they kept on chasing it away. Soon it gave up and hobbled away. I was angry at the other bullies for not sharing with him and was about to chase them off when I heard a sobbing sound.

I followed the sound and soon I saw a person sitting by himself in the snow bank weeping. I was about to go down and ask why he was crying when suddenly I noticed it wasn’t a boy, it was Tiffany!

I just stood there and watched her. After ten or so minutes I could no longer bear it, so I went down and called her name. She looked at me in surprise.

“What are you doing here, Tiffany? Does your mother know you are here? Hey, you might get sick, come, I’ll take you home.”

She stopped crying and stared at me.

“You mean, you’ll really walk me home?”

“Yes, I will… I’m sorry I’ve ignored you like this. I’m sorry…..”

“Thank you, Billy…I thought that no one in this world really cared for me. I know my mom loves me but I often hear her crying alone and I know it’s because she wished I was never born. When you came and asked me out last year, it was on this exact date, the 15th of December, I felt so happy, Billy, coz I believed I found a friend at last. But I heard you got beaten up because of me, that was why you stayed away, but I understand Billy, and thank you… you’re my best friend.”

With that she came and hugged me and gave me a peck on the cheek. My whole being felt warm and nice but I didn’t know what to say. I just smiled at her. From that moment I didn’t care what happened to me anymore. Tiffany was now my friend, and I was proud of it. I walked her home, her mom had been worried sick about her and when she saw her she came running and hugged her and kissed her and she kept on thanking me.

“Tiffany, where have you been? Don’t you know how much I’ve been looking for you? Don’t ever scare me like this again, you’re all I have in this world, please realize that, you’re my everything,” sobbed Mrs. Winters in between her tears.

I was invited in for tea and we had a wonderful conversation. I found out that Mrs. Winters was as a good as person as she was as a teacher and now I was proud that I could call her and Tiffany my friends. So what if Megan and the others mocked me, I had new friends and a new circle now and I was filled with joy. I even gave Tiffany my prized shell necklace. I had found the shell when my family and I had gone to the ocean-side for a vacation. I had had it with me ever since. Tiffany squealed with delight when I gave her that necklace.

The next day I was very eager to go visit Tiffany but since it was snowing heavily it was impossible to go anywhere so I stayed indoors all day. I had heard that she was also a bit sick from the previous day’s outing which made me even keener to go and visit her. But the steady downfall of whiteness kept on getting thicker and thicker and so I had to shelve my plans.

The next morning right after breakfast, I packed a few loaves of bread, courtesy of my mom and headed out towards Tiffany’s home full of joy. I was very eager to see her and I knew that she too was eagerly waiting for me.

I arrived at the house at 9 o’clock and knocked on the door. Mrs. Winters opened the door with tear strained eyes.

“Come in, Billy. Tiffany’s been expecting you. In fact she told me not to let anyone see her before you do.”

I followed Mrs. Winters into Tiffany’s room and when I entered the room my whole being was left in a state of shock and my jaw just dropped open. It was Tiffany lying on the bed, pale as a white spring flower and still as the silence of the night. She was dead! I looked closely and found that my necklace was held tightly in her right hand and pressed against her now still heart. I didn’t know what to say or do; I just stood and stared at her. But even though she was gone, she looked so peaceful and there was even a semblance of a peaceful smile on her face.

Mrs. Winters hugged me and tears just poured forth from her eyes and soul, but I still didn’t know what to do. After she had dried her eyes she said this to me:

“She passed away at exactly half past eight this morning. I couldn’t call a doctor because I couldn’t leave her alone. She kept on saying: ‘Don’t worry mom, Billy will soon be here and everything will be all right. Until he comes I won’t let anyone touch me or see me. He’s given me so much happiness mom. He’s the one person besides you who cares for me and he has also helped me to see how much you really care and love me too mom. He’s my best friend.’ She breathed her last shortly after saying those words.

But at least she died happy. You see, she was conceived here many years ago and since I couldn’t tell anyone, I ran away and even changed my name. But I simply had to come back , this is my home and now at least I should be glad that this place which is a home and yet a source of so much pain to me should be the place where my daughter finds true happiness-a happiness that will stay with her forever and for always. And I have you to thank for that, Billy, thank you, you were and will always be Tiffany’s Best Friend."

Below is a song called "Love Is" by Yuko Ohigashi, the inspiration behind the story.

My Best Friend PART I

2010-07-12T04:09:00.000-07:00

A story inspired by Yuko Ohigashi's "Love Is"

The evening sun was slowly setting. I was out on the porch sitting and chatting with Megan, Ralf and little Stuart. This was the kind of life any thirteen year-old could possibly want. Schools were over, winter was setting in and all that was left to do was to have fun and frolic in the winter sun all day long and then this, waiting for evening tea in the company of good friends. This was it; I couldn’t have asked for more.

“Golly gee, that was a whopper of a salmon you caught today”, said little Stu, his eyes gleaming with wonder.

I looked at little Stu. His eyes were filled with admiration for me. Although I only have one sister, I always considered little Stu to be my little brother. True we were of the same age but a big advantage in size justified this feeling of seniority I had.

I smiled at him and replied, “Don’t worry Stu, you’re still new at fishing. Once you’ve gone with me for a couple more rounds you’ll soon get big uns of your own.’

Megan sneered, “It’s the onset of winter, Billy Crimple. How in the world do you think you’ll keep on fishing, you wanna kill little Stu out there in the lake, do you? Have some sense and don’t let your pride kill Stu, kill yourself maybe, but spare Stu.”

“Who says you can’t go fishing in winter? I’ve caught many a big un in the middle of December. Don’t you dare say it’s not possible.”

“Humph! You’ll soon kill yourself of fever and cold, you will and when you do, don’t expect me to mourn then.”

“Fine then. I won’t,” I shot back.

Then I heard the magic words of my mom in the background calling me for tea.

“Gotta go guys. Tea time.”

And with that I dashed home and happily sat down for tea. It was starting to get dark outside and I knew that I would be out in the streets again very soon, giggling and playing with my friends, telling each other of stories of the Bog man out in the swamps and all other scary stories till all of us screamed our little lungs out. Why we screamed I never understood. For me it wasn’t out of fear, I knew that I was safe within the town and no Bog man would come after me. But screaming was fun anyway and that’s what I always did, and I was always the loudest.

Soon we gathered round ol’ Moe’s doorstep and we met him as he was just getting ready to leave for the pub. We all hid when we saw him, but he saw us anyway and shouted, “Aye, you little rascals better be gone when I come a home, I’m a warnin y’us little mongrels, better clear off when I come back ya hear?”

We all giggled. We knew that he would probably pass out at the pub and we didn’t have to worry about him coming back. It was usually dawn by the time he came back staggering all the way to his house.

I noticed a new face in the crowd tonight with Megan.

“Hey Megan, who’s the new girl?” I asked.

Megan looked at all of us with an air of authority. She never failed to let us remember who was the oldest among us, and all the guys hated her for acting so mature and bossy with us. But none of us really spoke out as we were all afraid of being called a sissy for fighting with her.

Finally Megan spoke up. “This is Tiffany. She and her mother just arrived from the city today. She is going to be with us here from now on. Her mother will be working in the school from next year.”

“And where’s her father?” shouted the loudmouthed Jonnie Brooks, loud as ever.

I noticed that Tiffany trembled a little when she heard this question. “I…I…I…I never knew my father,” she stuttered. I noticed tears in her eyes as she said this.

There was a strange silence after that. Everybody stared at Tiffany. After a minute or so of silence she burst into tears and ran off. Everybody started laughing at this and started to call her names.

Even Megan started snorting out her arrogant laugh. “You guys should have left her alone,” I said breaking the grand effusion of laughter in the air.

“Billy’s right for once,” said Megan.

But we soon forgot all about the episode and we were all lost in the stories we told one another, the ones we had heard many times over, and as expected it ended with all of us screaming and running towards our own homes. On my way home, I started thinking about what had happened that night. As I was walking, I noticed the little wooden shacks by the side of the roads with drawn curtains and shadows of flickering candles visible through them. It wasn’t much but this was our little town of Staunton and I couldn’t dream of living anywhere else.

I knew the town well, if it could be called a town at all. It was surrounded on the north and the east by a thick forest. To the south there was the swamp, or the Bog man’s home as we called it. It wasn’t really much of a swamp, just an old lake overgrown with vegetation. To the west was my favorite place, the lake. There I had caught many a huge salmon and I was famous in town for my prized catches which helped my mom and dad feed the mouth of me and my sister.

The town itself had a population of just around 100 houses. Everything was quite and orderly- this was home. I took a left just past the ol’ blacksmith’s forge and there stood a little house made of pine wood, slightly elevated from the ground with poles from all sides, with inviting little steps leading up to the porch and front door.

Home at last.

It was around nine o’clock and time for supper. I could smell the inviting scent of stew and warm bread even from outside and my tummy rumbled inside me. I soon forgot all that had happened that night and was in the house in no time. I noticed my dad wasn’t in the kitchen. Mom was there and my sister had yet to return from the trip to the city to my aunt’s.

I went into the living room and there I saw dad sitting with a woman. The woman was wearing a brown dress and her brown hair was tied up in a bun. She had small looking glasses on and she was very sickly and pale. There was a girl of around my age sitting at the woman’s feet. I was shocked, it was Tiffany and the woman was undoubtedly her mother. She would have no doubt complained about our behavior towards her earlier to her mom and now they were here, talking to my dad about it. I was about to run out of the room when my dad caught sight of me.

“Ah! Billy, just in time. Cm’ere boy.”

I prayed a silent prayer and I hung my head as if I was carrying the weight of the world on it. I could not dare look up, I was feeling so bad.

“Look sharp, my man. Meet Mrs. Winters, she just arrived from the city today and she will be your new schoolteacher next year. And this is her daughter Tiffany. Both of them have been dying to meet you. They shall have dinner with us tonight.”

I was stunned. I remembered saying something that sounded like “hello” when I shook their hands, but I wasn’t sure.

How the rest of the evening went, I am not sure. I hardly saw anything but my shoes, not daring to look up. I don’t even remember if I ate well or not but judging from the rumbling tummy I had in the middle of the night, I guess I didn’t eat very much.

Next morning I woke up fresh and confident. Tiffany hadn’t told anything about our mean behavior to her mother after all. I smiled and went down to breakfast happily. There my mom told me about her and her mom. Her mother had been raped by a man, but she chose to have the baby anyway since she felt it was wrong to go for an abortion. She had been raising Tiffany up this way, finding work in different places as a school teacher and now she was finally here. I felt sorry for Tiffany and wondered what it would be like to grow up without a father. I certainly could not imagine my life without good ol’ dad by my side and I was full of sympathy for her.

After breakfast, I asked mom if we could go pay them a visit. My mom thought it to be a lovely idea so we went to their house. I didn’t say much during our stay there, Tiffany said even less. I just smiled at her to show her that I came in peace and she too gave me one or two smiles, nothing more. The rest of the day I couldn’t stop thinking about her, her tears the previous night, her painful expression and now that sweet smile stuck in my head like the pleasing scent of the fresh summer flowers that lingers on in one’s senses.

I wasn’t myself the rest of the day. The guys thought that I was sick and Megan gave me a mouthful claiming it was because of my fishing and triumphantly sneered, “I told you so, dummy.”

But I couldn’t tell them what had happened to me, no, they would make fun of me and accuse me of liking her which I certainly didn’t. But I couldn’t help it, I asked the guys to excuse me and I sneaked off to the Winters’ residence. I knocked at the door and Mrs. Winters answered.

“Young master Crimple, how good to see you here, come in, come in. Would you like some tea?”

“I came to ask Tiffany if she would like to play.”

“Oh! How sweet of you. Come in. This is the first time that someone is asking her out to play. She will be so happy.”

Yesterday, Now and Tomorrow

2010-07-08T15:04:00.001-07:00

T' is often said that distance makes the heart grow fonder and tonight I can testify the truth of this saying. The todays we face right now often seem to pale in comparison with the glorious yesterdays and yesteryears. Of late, I too have fallen prey to this trap of glorifying events passed, to the extent that the present moment seems bleak and dark, and that joy and happiness seem to diminish with every "Happy New Year" that we greet each other with.

It however has taken a bit of magic in the form of a piece(Flying through the clouds)(in video below) by my favorite pianist Yuko Ohigashi to set in motion the cob-webbed, long ignored voice of reason in my head which got me thinking "Were the yesteryears really so happy and trouble-free as compared to the situation that we find ourselves in today?" The answer was a resounding NO! They are however better than the now because we managed to get through whatever hardships were present then.

Then it hit me, these todays are the yesterdays I'm going to cherish in the near and distant future. Instead of lamenting and pining away for things passed, I realize now that I am better off trying to make NOW into a wonderful and heart-warming past, with the knowledge and satisfaction that I did all I could to make it so and at the same continue to adore and cherish all that had gone on in my life. :)

Spirit of affairs long past,
You have found me deep in thought
And your spell on me have you cast;
In melancholy is my mind fraught.
Thoughts of things past and gone,
Far away from this very moment,
Of scenes in my heart long drawn;
O'er these I cry and lament.
Unwilling in my heart lo let go
T' is dragging my spirits low
Yet t'is beyond my every power
To return to that happy hour
Of the things that have been
But now are no more.
But t' is clear now, I have seen
Shut now is that door.

So, sad spirit leave me be,
T 'is better, can't you see,
To leave things as they are?
I will now look to things far,
But will be forwards, and not back
Onwards will I slash and hack,
Through every pain and sorrow I face
I will change this unhappy place,
To one with joy and smiles galore
Like the ones that I so adore,
While loving and cherishing even more,
All that had come and been before.

Below is a song called "Flying through the clouds" by Yuko Ohigashi mentioned above

Revised Sayings

2009-12-19T10:34:00.000-08:00

Since we're now a decade into a new millennium, I have taken it upon myself for the welfare of Ogres, Men, Werewolves and all other inhabitants of this miserable little planet to revise the age old sayings of the past into more suitable versions for our times. And here we go (any additions are eagerly accepted and awaited):

1. Early to bed and early to rise makes man an early man

2. Too err is human, to forgive not so, so why bother

3. A stitch in time is for sissies

4. If at first you don't succeed, try again and if you still don't succeed, google for instructions

5. A penny saved is for bus fare

6. A fool and his money are excellent friends

7. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a trip to the servicing center

8. Cheats sometimes prosper

9. He who laughs last gets the joke the slowest

10. When the going gets tough ask for help

"Women"

2009-12-16T10:02:00.000-08:00

Women-the greatest mystery in the whole world. I had always been convinced that men and women function differently, though some people satt-ly errr sadly disagree. And a certain incident that happened today triggered a chain reaction of thoughts in this whacked-up brain of mine, but before I go into that let me first tell you all what happened.

It was around noon and I was jobless and so bored to the extent that I actually started watching the Australia-West Indies test match, commentaries included when I got a call from my sister to get ready as she wanted me to take her, or rather she wanted to take me shopping. Having nothing better to do and being promised a treat at the shopping center, I agreed and got ready. She told me she'd be there in 15 minutes. 35 minutes later she appeared and then we set off and finally reached the Aizawl woman's paradise - The Second Hand Lane. After stopping for a cup of tea and some food, she started, Oh boy did she start!!! Three hours and several plastic bags in my hand later, she said we could go, BUT not before she bought me a jacket as a reward for which we took another 30 minutes. Finally after close to four hours walking around, we reached the car and 30 minutes later home...at last.

Then it hit me, this was the same sister who in May this year had struggled to take a 15 minute walk to the grocers with me coz I was feeling too lazy to drive!!! HOLY COW!!!

I then realized that WITH the proper motivation, women would be able to do ANYTHING. No more hunger, no more wars, no more AIDS, no more economic problems, a colony on the moon, you name it...a whole new wonderful world free of all problems thanks to a special group of women assembled to make our world a better place, a motivated group for whom nothing is impossible, and the cost of all this - a free four hour shopping spree at any second hand lane in the world!!!

An Alternate Universe

2009-12-03T13:22:00.000-08:00

Having recently watched an alternate universe of FRIENDS for the umpteenth time, these are some of the conclusions I have made, IF I were in an alternate universe:

1. I would have been Jim Carrey

2. Satty would have been Rosie O' Donnell

3. Mythili would have been caretaker of an orphanage who worked part-time as a cab driver (with a husband who worked part-time at poker tables in Las Vegas)

4. Beni would have been Madonna

5. Babie would have been a professional wrestler

6. Bishock would have been President of the U.S.A

7. Ajith would have been a gay porn star, oh wait I think he is one in this world too

8. Maha would have been my dream girl

9. Kvulo would have been Hugh Hefner

10. Ruki would have been in the army

11. Joseph (my nephew) would have been a rock star

12. Bikram would have been a hired assasin (who loves playing crosswords in his free time)

13. Ferdy would have been Don Williams

14. Jimmy would have been a police dog

15. Ruth would have been captain of the Indian Women Football team

16. Seni would have been an R&B singer

17. Among would have been Vijay Mallya

18. Pu Lailunga would have been Napoleon

19. Oren would have been V.C of EFLU

20. Temsu would have been Osama Bin Laden

21. Apuii would have been Britney Spears

22. Alyssa would have been Hilary Clinton

23. Sammy would have been Michael Jackson

24. Rahul would have been Godzilla (with hair)

25. Geets would have been my Mom

26. Eli would have been Paris Hilton

27. Sagar would have been Bill Gates

28. Hewasa would have been Dakota Fanning

29. Nchum would have been Nick Carter

30. Wati would have been Jack Johnson's publicist
...and that's about it! Other takes are welcome!!!

My Journey to True Love II - Castle Fairydust to Care Island

2009-10-04T14:15:00.000-07:00

Having left Lady Francine, I cautiously proceeded along Airy Path, the only way to Castle Fairydust. One has to be careful here, you can see the world of reality clearly from here and if you don't proceed with care it is here that the little imps of worry and concern will make sure you never make it to the castle. That night though my spirits were high and the peace in my heart helped me to cross Airy Path without any difficulty.

I had walked around a quarter of an hour when before me, I could see a beautiful shining castle - Castle Fairydust at last. No sooner than it came into my view I started hearing a voice - it was so calm, so soothing it had to be Lady Francine, but it wasn't! It was singing a sad sad song in a language I had never heard in my life and for no apparent reason I started weeping my soul out. Just then I heard footsteps and before me stood a being, it had the shape and body of a man but i saw that his head was shaped like a star. His whole body too glowed like one.

"And pray tell why are you weeping,young sir, yes!" said he.

"I don't know sir, this song in the air just makes me cry, can't you hear it?"

"And what do I hear save for your incessant weeping, young sir, yes?"

"That voice...that song, you don't hear it?"

"And so it seems, hmmmm, voices eh? And would you be the one sent by Lady Francine yes?"

"That I am, sir", I replied.

"And so it would be, yes, strange lot you who are called by Her. And very well follow me then, She has left some things for you in the Castle Vault, yes She has. And if you will follow me yes?"

I followed this strange being to the castle and he took me down to the vaults where he opened a strange locker, in fact the locker opened itself when we arrived there.

"And yes, you would be the one yes, were it not for you it never would have opened itself, yes? Here you go, yes? And if you would follow me please, someone would have a word with you, yes she would, yes!" he said as he handed me a dusty old bag.

We then proceeded upstairs and I could see all manners of fairies, elves and pixies enjoying themselves in the ball-room. The elves in particular were a treat for the eyes- slender, graceful with lovely features and they were singing for the others who were happily dancing time away. I couldn't help but smile and feel a strange sense of peace when I saw this. However, my host led me past this merriment and into the Throne Room and there it was that I saw one of the most beautiful elves on the throne. She smiled when she saw me and said thus:

"Ah! Child of Sorrow, enter please. Thank you Starch for bringing him here. I trust you have given him the bag, you have? Excellent. Now then my child allow me to introduce myself, I am Lady Fwendyer, Queen of Fairydust and might I say that it is an absolute pleasure for me to see with my own eyes The Child of Destiny sent by Lady Francine herself, an absolute pleasure, come and sit before me, I see questions in your eyes and I shall tell you whatever I can."

"Thank you, Lady Fwendyer..."

"No child, thank YOU!" she replied "now go on, ask away?"

"Can you tell me why I'm here and what I need to do?"

"The first question you will find out for yourself dear boy and as for the second question I will tell you later. Are there any more questions?"

"Yes, can you tell me whats in the bag?"

"That I can", she smiled "Inside that magic bag are three things, a robe, a sword and a picture frame. But do not take them out now, you will know when to take them out, but just to give you an idea let me tell you. The robe is to be used when the very air around you dampens your spirit, the sword is to be used when and only when violence is the only answer and the picture frame to be used when you need to know what it is that is most important to you. But you can use each item only once before the magic that binds them will be unbound and vanish forever so use it only when you absolutely must and not before. Now I will tell you what you must do, just outside the castle you will find a trail that leads down to the shore. You must go there immediately and search for a Captain Fairwave. He will take you to the next part of your journey. I know you still have questions aplenty, child, but they are really not mine to answer and you will be have all the answers when you need them and not before. Now hurry child, and if all goes well, I hope to see you here again soon. I shall eagerly await your return and I shall hold a great banquet to celebrate your success. But for now, farewell, O Child of Sorrow."

With a bow, I left the company of the Fair Lady of Castle Fairydust and followed her directions. There at the shore I met the captain, Captain Fairwave.

"Ho! Welcome lad, welcome, a pleasure to meet you. Allow me to shake your hand. It would be a pleasure to welcome you to my fair ship, The Flying Fin, come now come."

I boarded the ship and the catain took me to my cabin and left me there while he gave orders to the crew to set sail immediately. After a while he reappeared.

"Alas lad, we are off now to Care Island. I have been instructed to take you there, heaven knows why, its a lonely isolated little island and a funny one if there ever was one. All I can tell you lad is that once you are there you are to look for the Cavern of Weeping and enter there. There would be someone waiting for you there, and now I'll leave you to rest and preserve your strength, you shall need it. I shall notify you when we are there."

And so was I left alone undisturbed for hours. I tried to sleep but I couldn't, everytime I closed my eyes I could hear the song I heard near Castle Fairydust and I was left to sit alone and ponder over what lay ahead for me. I hadn't asked for any of this and almost felt so frustrated to the point of being brought back to reality, but then the thought of Lady Francine saved me. I knew that she wouldn't send me on this quest for nothing and so my belief in Her revived my hopes and I was filled with a new determination to see this through.

After many hours of sailing, Captain Fairwave finally reappeared and smiled.

"We're here lad, on must you go alone now. But before that, there is someone on board who wishes to see you. I will bring her in."

The captain then brought in a fair elven maiden who bowed the moment she saw me.

"Quel re, Heruamin, cormamin lindua ele lee (Good day, my lord, my heart sings to see thee) I am Andresia and I know it is more than I could ever wish for to be able to help you let alone see you. I come bearing a gift. Please take this shell with you. It is filled with the song of the elves and is able to work its magic to all who listen to it. You will know when you need it. I must go now, my Lord. It has been an honor to see you in person. Aa’ lasser en lle coia orn n' omenta gurtha (May the leaves of your life tree never turn brown) "

With that she left me and I too left the ship and waved farewell to the captain and his crew and Andresia too.

I was now alone on the island and could feel an eerie presence all around. But now my job was to find the Cavern of Weeping and that is where my tale will continue...

A Little Love

2009-08-26T16:11:00.001-07:00

“So tell that some one that you love,
Just what you’re thinking of,
If tomorrow never comes.”

Words I believe will probably be etched in my memory for an eternity. A little love shown? Why was I so stupid to take things for granted? A little love and care showing itself in words or deeds…sounds none too difficult for anyone. And then the words “I love you,” “You mean a lot to me”. Words which take only a few seconds to say yet which might bring into bloom the flower of love that will last for a lifetime. A lifetime? But what if that lifetime was cut off before the beautiful blooming blossom of love reached its full splendor?

That’s a question that demanded an answer from me on the 7th of October, 2003, when out of nowhere, with no warning whatsoever my brother passed away. Immediately I asked myself, “What had I done to show him my love, care and concern?” Little or none was the sad but true answer as I have always been one afraid to show my true feelings to anyone. Then I realized that I would have to bear the pain of going through this life knowing that I would never be able to show my brother how much I loved him, how much he really meant to me. It hurts….a lot. But it taught me a really valuable lesson-not to take life and love for granted and now as I go through life, I try my best to show my dear ones my love and care for them. The smile I get from them helps to relief my pain gradually, and now I am more peaceful knowing that my loved ones know my love for them. But that hole left by my brother’s demise, I am afraid will always be there.

So as you go through life, don’t just rush through. Take time to show your beloved ones your love and care. It might even just help lift their storms and heartaches. It will cost you little, but will give you much. That I promise you. So don’t delay, say it now.

Never leave your “I love you’s” for tomorrow
Tomorrow is not a certainty.
You might end up with regret and sorrow.
Say it today, and so forth forever in eternity.

A Moonlit Night

2009-08-26T15:47:00.000-07:00

It was the quite end of evening. The moon was now lording over the Earth and she did so with a quite calm and authority as she spread her beams over the grassy fields, the gravel paths, the silent trees and everything else in sight. All of Staunton was now under her watchful eye. This night as with any other, there were creatures of the night singing their songs away into the vast black sky. Once in a while the breeze joined in on their song as she made her passage through the leaves of trees.

It was on such a night as this that Gerald sat on the railing of the old bridge just outside town. He alternated between staring at the moon and its majestic reflection in the clear waters of the river below. It filled him with a strange sense of peace which however was soon lost again in the uncertainty that was hanging around his neck. He was not always like this. He was once a bright cheerful lad who was well known in town for his agreeable manners and his handsome countenance. His parents were also well known. His father, Mr. Roenall was one of the most respected elders of the town council and his mother was a well known florist. Many a girl had gone up to Gerald in hope of winning his heart, but he was like the fresh smell of summer flowers-always in your senses but never what you could call exclusively your own. He was by no means a flirtatious lad, it was just that he thought himself unable to fully give himself to one girl; hence he stayed away from them all. A well intentioned, if not a little odd thing to be doing!

Now the mayor of the town, knowing what good in-laws the Roenall family would make, approached Mr. Roenall to arrange for a wedding between Gerald and his daughter, Rachel. Mr. Roenall was delighted at this prospect and agreed to the wedding almost immediately. Now Gerald himself wasn’t too sure whether he wanted to marry at all and for a few days he was very silent. However in the end he decided that it would make his parents very happy and so he agreed to the wedding. Rachel too was very happy. She was also well known in town for her good manners and of course she was one of the prettiest, if not the prettiest woman around town. Soon all preparations were made and they were to wed in three months. Everyone was happy, except maybe a few heartbroken girls who had hoped for Gerald.

One fine day, Gerald was on his way to the neighboring town of Imnesvale. He had just landed a contract with a publishing firm in Imnesvale to get his collection of poems published and he was on his way there to meet the head publisher. It was during this journey that he saw a girl lying unconscious by the road. She was bleeding profusely and it was clear that she had been attacked by wild dogs- an ever present problem those days. Gerald picked the girl up and mounted her on his horse and he rushed her to the doctor’s clinic in Imnesvale. There he told the doctor all about the incident and also agreed to pay for the girl’s medical care. The doctor told her he knew who the girl was and also gave his word that he would do his best to help her. Gerald then left the clinic with a promise that he would return the following week and check on the girl.

Gerald had to visit Imnesvale regularly from then on with matters concerning his book, so the next week, after his work was done, he went to visit the girl, being directed to her house by the doctor. When he arrived there, he saw that she was busy cleaning up her living-room. The moment he introduced himself she embraced him and thanked him for his help with tears of joy. Gerald just smiled and told her that he was only too glad to help out. She told him that her name was Tiffany. Both her parents had died when she was fifteen and she had been working in the local bookshop since then. She also told him that she had gone out that day to pick wild flowers before she was attacked by the wild dogs. She was beautiful, with rosy cheeks and long golden curls and a beautiful heart-warming smile. There was no evidence of any injury to her face and Gerald was glad. After having tea, Gerald took his leave and headed home.

The friendship between Gerald and Tiffany grew and soon their meetings became regular. One fateful day, Tiffany, unaware of Gerald’s engagement to Rachel declared her love for him and asked him to take her away. Gerald was taken aback. He had not realized until then that he too had already fallen in love with Tiffany. He felt their souls had already become one. He felt confused. He could not break off his engagement with Rachel. He could not bear to think of the shame he would bring to his father. Their wedding was only three weeks away. But then he couldn’t bear the thought of losing Tiffany either. Finally he asked Tiffany to give him some time to think about their situation. Tiffany told him that he could take all the time in the world as she would always be rightfully his. She also told him that she was willing to do whatever it took to be with him. With that Gerald left for home.

That was eight hours ago. Gerald should have been home by now, but as it turned out, he was still sitting on the bridge as we met him in the beginning. He sighed and said, “So it has come to this. Anyway it is clear to me what I must do now. I cannot marry Rachel for I can love no one but Tiffany. Tiffany, I am afraid there is only one way for us to be together. When you receive that letter of mine, please do as I tell you. There is no other way. I shall be waiting here my love. Till I see you again, know that I will always love you.”

Having said so, he lifted the millstone tied to his neck, sighed and jumped into the river to await his true love.

“Torn is the man whose heart,
Between two loves does lie.
Wretched is He who must die,
His very soul torn apart.

Alas sad mortal, farewell to thee,
Only in death can you be free.”

Night of Sorrows

2008-12-26T14:56:00.000-08:00

It is said that one never truly understands the sorrow, pain and confusion of losing someone you love unless you actually do lose a loved one. The words of comfort which come from dear friends and relatives, to be honest do little or nothing to lift that great hurt in one’s soul. Very often, it is only time that can heal this deep hurt. Other occasions, a moment spent with someone who has gone through the same thing can heal one almost immediately, although moments such as this are rare.

It was now three months since his beloved wife Katie passed away. Andrew tried his best to mask the pain that was still so evident on his face as he sat down in the diner with a cup of coffee. They had been married for only two months when one day Katie suddenly collapsed and died of a heart attack. That had destroyed Andrew and even after three months he was still sulking and suffering as if it was the end of his world. Even friends and relatives felt it best to leave him to himself as he was not ready to listen to anybody.

Having finished his coffee, Andrew got up, paid the waitress and went outside. Should he go home or not, he wondered. But his house, full of memories of Katie was the last place he wanted to be right now. He decided that even though it was already late, he would go for a stroll in the city park. That seemed a good idea as no one would be there at that hour and he could have the whole park to himself while he would sit and recollect happy memories of Katie.

He got there at half past eleven, and as expected it was completely empty. He found a bench by a tree and sat down. Immediately he started weeping his soul out.

“Katie, my love, why did you have to leave me so soon? You’re so inconsiderate. You could have at least given me a few more days to show you how much I love you,” he cried. In his mind’s eye, the memory of his wedding day was still so fresh it seemed like yesterday. She had looked so beautiful that day. He had told her that she looked like an angel and she had jokingly remarked that she was one and that she was sent from heaven to guide and protect him. Tears once again flowed from his eyes as he thought about those happy moments of the past.

“Mind if I have a seat?” said a voice from behind. Andrew looked back to see a tall pale man standing behind him. There was something so calm and inviting about the man that Andrew nodded his head and asked him to take a seat even though he would have preferred to be alone.

“What are you doing here at this unearthly hour my friend?” asked Andrew.

The man replied, “Same thing you are doing, I believe. Sorry I overheard you crying and I could tell that you lost someone dear to you. I can understand that you must be really hurt and lonely and that you’re probably here to think about that loved one. I am here for the same reason my good man. By the way my name’s Herman.” The man smiled and stretched out his hand as he said this. Andrew smiled back at him and shook his hand.

“Nice to meet you, Herman, my name’s Andrew. So tell me, who have you lost that makes you so sad?”

“It’s my wife, Wendy,” Herman said with a sigh. “I should never have been so foolish as to leave her. Now I miss her so very much. And what about you, I believe Katie was your wife too.”

“That’s right; Katie was my pride and joy. We were married only a few months back. But I lost her to a heart attack. I didn’t even have a chance to save her, the doctors had told us that she had a hereditary heart problem, but I didn’t expect things to turn out how they are now. I miss her so much.”

“I’m sorry friend. But at the same time I’m happy for you because I’m sure you showed her how much you really loved her. If only I was as wise. I took my Wendy for granted so many times. I didn’t even say goodbye before I left.”

“You mean to say you were divorced?”

“Not even that. I just walked away from her. I so regret it now. I would do whatever I can to show her that I still care but now it’s too late. I have to live with this pain forever now. Even if it was possible for me to go back, I believe she would not accept me back now and I wouldn’t blame her for that. But I would be willing to do anything to show her that I love her even now.”

“I’m sure she will come to know sooner or later that you do love her,” said Andrew patting Herman on the back.

“Hey, if it’s not too much of a problem, could we meet up tomorrow and have lunch. I would really cherish your friendship. And they say misery loves company so we might do well to have company. What do you say?”

“That’s a good idea, give me your address and I’ll come and pick you up tomorrow. Okay?”

“Okay, here is my address. I’ll be expecting you by around 12 noon then. I’d better be going now. It’s really been nice to meet you my friend. Good night then.”

Both men shook hands and said their goodbyes as they each left for their homes. Andrew was happy that he found a friend in Herman and went back home happy for the first time since Katie’s death. But the moment he reached home, he could not help thinking about her. He took some sleeping pills and went to bed straight away. He felt that both his mind and body needed a break.

That night, Andrew had a strange dream. He saw Katie smiling at him, and she was holding someone’s hand and walking towards him. When she came nearer, Andrew could see that the person whose hand Katie was holding was none other than Herman. She just continued smiling at Andrew and then let go of Herman’s hand and gestured to Herman to go to Andrew. With that she disappeared.

When Andrew woke up the next day, he remembered the dream and smiled. He was sure now that he and Herman would be able to help each other out in this difficult time. It would be a wonderful friendship and Andrew was more than sure that Katie had sent Herman to him. He smiled a happy smile.

“Oh Katie, you’re so thoughtful sending me a friend in this difficult time. I shall do my best to be best of friends with Herman because I am sure that you have sent him to me. Thank you sweetheart,” said Andrew, smiling but with tears rolling down his cheeks.

He then got ready for his meeting with Herman. He arrived at his place at exactly five minutes to noon. The house was a small one. He saw that it was well looked after; the front lawn was clean, the garage too was neat and tidy and the lawns were mown. He felt right at home in that little cottage. He admired Herman for keeping his house so neat even though he was going through a hard time.

He then went up the front porch and rang the door bell. After a minute a beautiful young woman came to answer the door. Andrew thought her to be his maid. “I’m looking for Mr. Herman George. He gave me this address last night at the city park and I believe he is expecting me now.”

The woman stared at him for a while and asked, “And what might your name be?”

“I am Andrew Matthews, miss,” he replied.

Then the most unexpected thing happened, tears suddenly poured forth from the woman’s eyes and she began to weep. “Mr. Matthews,” she said, “Herman was my husband. He died three months ago in a car crash. I don’t know how you could have met him last night. I am tempted to shut the door on your face right now, but he appeared to me in a dream last night too. He looked so happy and before he left he smiled and told me that he would send someone named Andrew to me.”

NOTICE

2008-12-26T14:54:00.000-08:00

Now it is time to put up some old stories which again if you have read before I do beg your pardon and plead for your patience till new ones come.

Thank you!!!

My Home

2008-12-26T14:45:00.000-08:00

I dream of a place I can call my own,
Where I, my thoughts and talents may hone.
Where no sharp tongues are near;
Nay, only those I hold dear.
Solitude, quietness and peace,
But not love please,
For with love all these cease.

T'will be a place of greenest hue,
With joy aplenty and cares but few,
Where birds and beast together feed,
Where the weak the strong will lead.

And now ready am I to go there,
On wings of poesy to that land so fair.

Goodbye

2008-12-19T02:24:00.000-08:00

Would words e'er be enough,
Hollow are they to capture this hollowness inside
Where worlds seem to disappear from one's very eyes.
One minute a world of moon, stars and smiles;
The next, a vast black empty sky.
The darkness envelopes you,
You grope for meaning,
Only to find that meaning has left;
Gone with the dawn's first flight.
You are like the mighty oak without it's roots,
Damned to die and decay,
Slow, painful and lonely.

Would life be a world of hellos and no goodbyes,
Goodbyes take away what the hello hath given.
The memory remains, only memories.
But what is the memory of joy compared to joy itself?
Would memories of friendship be more than friends?
I shudder to think of the emptiness that is a memory,
They are no more than words,
A painful reminder that you once were happy.

My world knows no goodbyes,
People come but they don't go.
I would share if I could,
But that is my world alone,
And this world would no longer be the same
If that were to happen
And what would people do if my world
Was to become theirs?

So what has to be has to be.
It is with tears of eye and soul
That I say to you
Goodbye.

Loneliness

2008-12-19T02:22:00.000-08:00

Trudge this word alone I must
For all I have is my mind, my sense.
Everything else is but dust,
Alone must I dwell within my fence.
I ask for nothing, nothing you hear,
This world has nothing, nothing dear.
Everything that seems to be of worth,
Always to sorrow does it give birth.
To be alone is not so bad,
T'is the best that can be had,
To tread upon the sands of time,
Looking for verse and rhyme.
Aye, such a life a poet must live,
Loneliness is for his mind a sieve,
A filter through which all beauty appears
Whether his mind be in joy or fear.
So leave me be, leave me you hear,
To no one do I long to be near.
Just me, my thoughts alone,
Alone, alone, so alone...

NOTICE

2008-12-18T21:53:00.000-08:00

Time to start putting up some old stuff I wrote to avoid the ignomy of having to rewrite them in case I lose them. So if you have already read some of this stuff, I apologize and ask you to bear with me for a week or so.

Thanks!!!

The Pain of Being Me

2008-12-18T02:51:00.000-08:00

Does anyone care, does anyone know?
My suffering, my anguish? No!
I am alone, crying in pain
While the world looks on in disdain.
I long not for pity nor for kind words,
For in solitude, I know, lie my rewards.
So why then do I cry and weep?
What wound could be there so deep,
That I see pain in love,
Sorrow in the stars above,
Tears in the dance of the rain
And sadness in every thought of my brain.

Then I realized it's because of me,
The way I was made to be.

Loneliness and suffering are my friends,
Sorrow's control o'er me never ends.

O how I long to rise on the wings of dawn,
To fly away and be far gone.
To fly over lands and fields of green,
To behold what no eye has ever seen,
To sing with the stars at night,
Making the darkness melodious and bright,
To sail over the vast endless ocean
With joy being my only emotion,
O'er the white mountains to sing and glide
With the wind my solitary guide.

Alas! tis but a dream
As with all my other schemes.
I will always be on the ground,
For my feet to earth are bound.
I am hemmed in by sorrow,
Each day my pain will grow.

So I will pass through this life shriveled and torn,
And perhaps to a better future be born.

But then I will always be me,
A Child of Sorrow that I'm meant to be!

Fair Lady of the Hill (A tribute to Lalsangzuali Sailo)

2008-12-11T08:21:00.001-08:00

Fair Lady of the Hill,

Now you lie calm and still.

But though no words now you speak,

Your message shines for all who seek;

For those in the darkness who grope,

A message of love and hope.

Beauty, true and pure resounded in thy soul,

Soothing melody, calm, pure and whole

Flowed from thine lips, God's gift

Broken souls to heal and lift.

We wish you would stay yet a while

So that praises on you we would pile,

For thou never received all your due,

Nay, though your soul shined with brightest hue.

But then onward must you go

To thine heavenly home above.

From there your prayers for us would flow,

A prayer for peace and of truest love.

And onward, we too shall slowly stumble,

And many a time for lack of faith fumble.

But then our spirits shall turn to thee

And our faith shall once again be freed.

Our leaking cup of hope thou wilt fill

Even though now you lie calm and still;

Thank you, Fair Lady of the Hill.

My Journey to True Love I - Lady Francine Leza Lluna

2008-12-03T15:03:00.000-08:00

A meeting with Lady Francine is one which will definitely change your life. It's been three years since I last met her and yet the memories of that meeting are still clear in my mind. Such beauty, such grace and such elegance carried in that delicate frame.

I remember I was a depressed young soul pondering over the mysteries of love and life. I remember I was just on the verge of calling it quits. A soft single silent tear found its way down my numb cheek. It was just a wonderful work of Fate that Mr. Foosh the night breeze diverted my attention to the lovely crescent moon above ...Lady Fate wasn't done yet as she sent a nightbird couple to fly past me and got me to ask the magic question, "Love is...?"

The question that was not even really a question changed my life...forever...every single day...it still does.

"Waiting for you...", "Longing for you...", "Flying through the clouds...", these words took the svelte form of song and resonated through my being. I could hear the paltry voices of Guardian Fairies of Reality starting to scream disconsolately demanding that I return to my normal state of being immediately. These little guardians are what keeps people from trespassing into the realms of fantasy and imagination. However that night there was a force greater than that of these guardians that allowed me to escape their inhibitions effortlessly. Something was stirring in my soul that even the strong delusions of reality could not keep away.

Next thing I knew, I was up in the clouds and could see the insignificant forms of real life below me...I had transcended reality! I knew it took a really powerful force to ever do this and that force was there in front of my very eyes...in all her majesty and splendour yet!!! Lady Francine Leza Lluna, one of the avatars of Mother Earth herself.

Her presence with me there was otherworldly. Finally, with a smile across her lovely face she spoke forth, "O child of sorrow, your songs which are someone else's and the cry on your lips which doth belong to another have brought you here to my presence. Now the questions in your heart too are not your own but all that you long for will be yours soon...if your desire is strong enough."

Words failed me at that moment and so did all my other senses. I just stood there blank. She continued, "A noble quest awaits thee, but for now you must rest and eat...have these never-hunger berries for you shall need them." I stared at her. "Do not fret my child, these aren't fully ripe yet and you will still long for your human food again."

I ate the berries and after that Lady Francine took me to high up to the clouds and we sat on the moonbeams. "I have felt the pain, songs and questions in your heart my child, and like I said, they are not your own. Whose they are I cannot tell you for that is what you must find. Now I will give you directions to Castle Fairydust and there must you meet a certain person who will be waiting for you."

She smiled again and the gentleness and the warmth that radiated from her gave me peace for the first time in many months and after this encounter I was ready to move on and find whose sorrow I had been sharing...I reluctantly had to leave her company but in my heart I know she is always with me. I did not see her again after this but like I said, this one encounter alone with her has so impressed upon my heart peace and calmness. This has helped me through so many situations in life and it still does. Lady Francine be blessed for this!

But for the time being, to Castle Fairydust I had to sojourn and that is where my tale will continue...

Fanny Redpetals- Part I

2008-12-03T14:49:00.000-08:00

Swinging high on the boughs of trees,

Singing and laughing with the breeze;

There's my Fanny, child of Mother Earth,

Born of joy, of song and mirth.

I am the luckiest to be born ever,

To have this beauty as mine... forever!

Airwalking

2008-04-14T03:45:00.000-07:00

Last night was simply exquisite. Tired of assignments and dissertations and all that other stuff, I decided to do something I hadn't done in a while...airwalking. Now don't jump to any conclusions, intoxicants had nothing to do with this...it's all in the power of the human mind.

I decided to pay a visit to the Moon above and after an hour or so of munching on frosted rain flakes and chit-chatting about so many things I decided to move on.

I caught the night air fairies just as they were about to embark on their weekly visit to Starcrest Beach. I admit it was a surprise when they invited me, and having nothing else to do I gladly agreed to go with them. It was a wonderful trip and the long walk was worth it as Andresia the Fair, the most melodious of all air fairies kept boredom and tiredness away with her angelic voice, singing for us the entire journey. I had to admit she sounded a lot like Leigh Nash...especially when she sang "Never Finish"^-^

Having built a huge castle of stardust I left my jolly company of fairies and decided to surprise my old friend, Klobby-Wobby, the shoe gnome. As expected he was busy cobbling shoes for poor little children when I arrived. He was his usual self- merry,cheerful with his cheeks like cherries glowing in the faint light of his little candle. He told me that he'd been having a hard time of late as no matter how hard he worked there are just too many poor children and he was just unable to make shoes for them all. "And you human-folk do nothing for these little tykes. You would be able to do much more than I could ever accomplish if you just tried." I knew he was right and I was ashamed and sorry for him and all the little children around the world. To do whatever little I could, I spent the next few hours with Klobby helping him make shoes.

Soon I could hear the Sun cheerfully greeting the Moon a good morning and I knew that I had to return soon. I took my leave from Klobby and returned to my bed relaxed and ready for a new day.

The next time I go airwalking again I have decided I will straightaway head to Klobby's and spend time helping him make shoes. I owe it to that little gnome with a big heart.

Just simple thoughts really...

2008-02-25T07:55:00.000-08:00

Something about the way I got up this morning made me very reflective. Unlike other days I actually got up early and fresh...on other days an early morning equates to a very bad mood and lead-heavy eyes. We are ever changing. We know ourselves not at all. We find there's a side to us we never knew every once in a while. A scary thought I must admit...there might be a possible murderer in me waiting to come out, but until it does I will never know. All I can and will be able to do should that part of me ever comes out is...well I don't really know??? I can spend hours on end worrying but what good will that ever do??? Little or nothing...So let's just enjoy and take life as it comes....one simple little thought at a time...here's to you dreamers everywhere from from the King of dreamers himself.